Stop Touching Your Face!

I have a sniffle. Followed by an occasional sneeze. I already checked for zombie bites, and I’m all clear, so put down the weapon.

But after watching Contagion, I’m convinced I still may die.

It’s been nice knowing you.

Here’s what I learned from Contagion:

  • Don’t touch anything. Ever.
  • If you must touch something, wipe it down  and then pour an entire bottle of hand sanitizer over your hands when you’re done.
  • The average person touches his or her face 2,000-3,000 times a day.
  • Being Kate Winslet does not make you safe from viruses.
  • Being Gwyneth Paltrow does not make you safe from viruses.
  • Being Matt Damon does make you immune.
  • Don’t cheat on your spouse. If you do, you’ll die from a virus killing millions. Karma.
  • If you eat a pig that’s eaten a piece of banana that was partially eaten by a bat, you’re probably going to die.
  • That bat was flying around near the pigs because of deforestation…so really it’s our own fault.

The most important thing I learned is that “Blogging is not writing. It’s graffiti with punctuation.” This was meant to be an insult, but I kind of like it.

Wait…the people in Contagion had coughs, not sneezes. I’m safe! Unless…the virus mutated. Noooooooo!

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

42 responses to “Stop Touching Your Face!

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