I finally realize why Valentine’s Day is so stressful for men. Look at this chocolate bar I bought for my boyfriend Kiefer.
I just set myself up for failure.
When I bought the chocolate bar, my initial thoughts were…
Awwww…. A chocolate bar that says, I love you very much! I’ll get that for Kiefer for Valentine’s Day…and when he eats it, I’ll get a piece.
But now I see that this chocolate bar may mean the end of our relationship. Why?
- How many Very boxes do I check?
- Do I leave one box unchecked until we’re engaged? I mean, why buy the cow if you get all the Verys for free?
- What if all the ink from the checks seeps into the chocolate bar, and Kiefer and I die from ink poisoning? Sounds like a Romeo-Juliet-esque death by chocolate. I like it.
Of course, the even bigger question is Do I love Kiefer more than chocolate? Chocolate and I have known each other my entire life. Kiefer and I have only known each other 3.5 years.
- If I check the Not More Than Chocolate box, Kiefer’s feelings will be hurt.
- If I check the More Than Chocolate box, Kiefer will know I’m lying.
Help! How many Very boxes do I check? And what do I do about the Chocolate checkboxes?
You hold the future of my relationship in your hands. Choose wisely.
Happy Valentine’s Day!