Have you ever watched a movie that made you question everything? (Is that too X-Filey?)
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is that movie. It will change your life. Never again will you be able to watch a horror movie without wondering…
- Maybe that guy in the mask is just covering a zit.
- Maybe that guy running his hook hand along the side of your car is really just trying to wash your windows for some extra cash.
- Maybe Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers were completely misunderstood.
The movie is about a group of college kids who assume two country hicks are killers. Assume. We all know what that means.
And then the college kids die because they’re accident-prone. Like my dad always said, “Accidents don’t just happen, they’re caused…by stupid assuming college kids.”
Here’s what I learned from the movie:
- When you’re hitting on someone, put away the scythe.
- That guy with the chainsaw isn’t chasing you, he’s running from bees.
- Using an ax to carve “We’ve got your friend” into some wood isn’t the best way to communicate.
- When someone says, “I’m beating the crap outta her,” he means at board games.
- Bones in a house mean the previous owner was an archaelogist.
- If the woman wearing stripper heels is still alive, you’re not in any real danger. Normally, she’d be the first to go.
This movie taught me so much: Things aren’t always what they seem. Don’t stereotype. Don’t jump to conclusions. And most importantly, Don’t run with a spear; you’ll stab yourself.