He’s Just Not That Into You

Just a couple more posts and then you’ll be all caught up in the Kiefer and Thoughtsy Make Up Saga….

Mere days after Kiefer and I broke up, I moved He’s Just Not That Into You into my Netflix queue. I needed some support, and damn it, Netflix was gonna give it to me.

Here a few tips I learned from the movie:

  • If he doesn’t call you, he’s just not that into you.
  • If a girl asks you to massage her feet but doesn’t have sex with you, she’s just not that into you.
  • If someone cheats on you, it’s not your fault.
  • You…yes, you…are the rule. Not the exception.

So, of course, I related to Jennifer Aniston’s and Ben Affleck’s characters. If you’ve never seen the movie, they’ve been together for 7 years, but Ben doesn’t believe in marriage.

Finally, Jennifer comes right out with it:

You know me. You know who I am. You either wanna marry me or you don’t.

She asks the question that she’s held back because she’s afraid. Afraid of demanding or clingy accusations:

Are you ever gonna marry me?

There’s a long pause.

I know from Kiefer and Mephistopheles that long pauses mean you’re not going to hear the answer you want.

And then she leaves him.

Of course, because it’s a movie, Aniston realizes Affleck was supporting her more than some husbands ever do for  their wives, and Affleck realizes he loves Aniston so much that he’ll do anything to make her happy: even marrying her.

Le sigh. That’s Hollywood for you. Always a happy ending.

(::Insert Carrie Bradshaw moment::) I couldn’t help but wonder…if Kiefer would miss me so much that he would want to marry me.

So I guess what I’m saying is…I’m highly impressionable.

If Kiefer and I don’t make it, I’m blaming the movie. If we can blame the movies for violence, we can also blame movies for my love life.


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

21 responses to “He’s Just Not That Into You

  • LittleMissVix

    I love that film but I also hate it because it adds to the long list of films in my collection that mean I have very unrealisitc expectations when it comes to relationships and romance! Sigh. Anyway, I wish you guys the best but make sure you’re happy with whatever happens!

  • Angelia Sims

    Hollywood always messes it up! I really didn’t like this movie. I remember it being painful to watch. I may or may not have been with Jason at the time. Which? Could explain the pain. 🙂 I hope yours is a happy ending. You deserve it. 🙂

  • Holly

    Heck thoughtsy you can blame ANYTHING you like, but the sad fact is, inside…you still end up blaming you, even when it really isn’t you – that was too deep… i mean…um i blame the toppings!!!!

  • mistyslaws

    Yeah, movies always give us unrealistic expectations. Based on my movie viewing past, I always expected a simple farm boy to turn into a pirate, rescue me from thieves, survive the fire swamps with me and save me from marrying an evil prince at the last minute and ride off into the sunset. Damn movies! Life just never quite works out that way.

    But in your case, it seems as if you are actually living out this plot. Hopefully it all works out in the end for a happy ending for you and Keifer.

  • Kitten Thunder's Girl

    I hate when a movie is exactly relevant to your life! I spent the whole movie “Shop Girl” thinking about how the guy I was with had been honest about not wanting anything… excellent movie, marred by my reality. Grr.

    I’ll say it again, though. There is always a happy ending. If it isn’t happy, it isn’t the end.

  • Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd

    I haven’t seen that movie, but I’m sure Sex and the City has been the cause of many terrible real-life relationship decisions. Stick to the plot line you wrote about and hopefully it’ll all work out nice.

  • Pie

    I spent a little time going through previous entries about you and Kiefer and now I’m up to date.

    Personally, He’s Just Not That Into You is the kind of movie I avoid like the plague. Your real-life movie, however, is one I am interested in. I hope there will soon be a happy outcome.

  • The Hipster

    One thing I learned from that movie is that when you overreact to someone’s secretive smoking habit, the increased risk of lung cancer isn’t really the thing that’s gnawing at your stomach.

  • Blockader

    I’m just not into that movie.

  • Linda Medrano

    Okay, I saw the movie. I think what we have here is a basic difference between men and woman. Women are complicated. Men, not so much. When a man says “I don’t want to get married” a woman usually thinks “He’s afraid of marriage”, or “He says that now but he doesn’t mean it”, or “He’s just afraid of getting hurt again”. Uh no. What he means is “HE DOESN’T WANT TO GET MARRIED”. Now it’s up to us to deal with that if it’s the reality. If we want to have a baby, go ahead, have one. It worked out fine for Brad and Angelina. It worked out fine for Johnny Depp and his lady.

  • JustMe

    Usually, I would advise against taking any Jennifer Aniston movie to heart. Really. Seriously. BUT. It sounds like your man made it obvious that he’s for realz, so I think you’re good.

    …Just don’t make the Aniston thing a habit. Her movies are insane.

  • Bonnie

    Saw the movie, and I don’t read that much but I love-loved the book (the hilarity factor in it is worth it in itself). Like you, I’m kinda having a hard time with that question are you ever gonna marry me. Good to know we’ve got a scapegoat to fall back on in just in case (said movie). 🙂

  • Thypolar

    Can we blame movies for the fact that I haven’t won the lottery or my dream home on HGTV yet too? Because if we can, that would explain sooooooooooooo much.

  • Spectra

    Just the term alone “He’s just not that into you” should be helpful to women when they aren’t getting what they want/need from a relationship. Sometimes it not that they don’t want to get married; often, they just don’t want to be seriously attatched to you, and are thinking something better will turn up. The something better is a woman who will demand more, and not compromise her self-worth to be with a slacker because she “loves” him. A strong woman is the boss of herself. And dating is like a job interview. You are in control of who you hire, or fire, as your partner.

  • ryoko861

    I just not that into Jennifer Aniston.

    Ok, that was bad.

    Marriage is over rated. Maintain your singularity as long as you can. Sometimes being friends or close partners is better.

    Believe me.

  • cocktailsattiffanys

    O.M.G. I just dug out the He’s Just Not That Into You book to relate my current love drama to it and you know as much as it sucks all the stuff they say in the movie and/or book is true. Even though we are girls, we would do all that stuff for a guy we loved. But, I am a sucker for the happily ever afters and I think you’ll get yours one way or another 🙂

  • mescribe

    Well, boys will be boys. Love hurts. Men – can’t live with them, can’t shoot them. (Or, I guess you actually can. If you bought a gun. Or borrowed one. Or stole one, for that matter. You could possibly even make one. John Malkovich does in that movie with Clint Eastwood. Seen it?) Anyway, there are a thousand and one clichés that I can randomly throw at you. I just hope that it will work itself out for you, girl – and if it doesn’t, there’s always ice-cream.

    No, that’s a horrible thing to write. Go with the gun.

  • Jane

    You’re already getting lots of advice here. I’m not sure I can add any more. But I will say this……

    Any ending you have with Kiefer will be a happy one. Because it’ll mean that’s where you are meant to be. (Sorry to go all Zen on you. But I really believe this.) Hugs. xo

  • leashieloo

    This movie mostly rubbed me the wrong way. It’s funny how we all latch on to certain characters, I mostly wanted to punch Bradley Cooper in the face 95% of the time.

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