Just a couple more posts and then you’ll be all caught up in the Kiefer and Thoughtsy Make Up Saga….
Mere days after Kiefer and I broke up, I moved He’s Just Not That Into You into my Netflix queue. I needed some support, and damn it, Netflix was gonna give it to me.
Here a few tips I learned from the movie:
- If he doesn’t call you, he’s just not that into you.
- If a girl asks you to massage her feet but doesn’t have sex with you, she’s just not that into you.
- If someone cheats on you, it’s not your fault.
- You…yes, you…are the rule. Not the exception.
So, of course, I related to Jennifer Aniston’s and Ben Affleck’s characters. If you’ve never seen the movie, they’ve been together for 7 years, but Ben doesn’t believe in marriage.
Finally, Jennifer comes right out with it:
You know me. You know who I am. You either wanna marry me or you don’t.
She asks the question that she’s held back because she’s afraid. Afraid of demanding or clingy accusations:
Are you ever gonna marry me?
There’s a long pause.
I know from Kiefer and Mephistopheles that long pauses mean you’re not going to hear the answer you want.
And then she leaves him.
Of course, because it’s a movie, Aniston realizes Affleck was supporting her more than some husbands ever do for their wives, and Affleck realizes he loves Aniston so much that he’ll do anything to make her happy: even marrying her.
Le sigh. That’s Hollywood for you. Always a happy ending.
(::Insert Carrie Bradshaw moment::) I couldn’t help but wonder…if Kiefer would miss me so much that he would want to marry me.
So I guess what I’m saying is…I’m highly impressionable.
If Kiefer and I don’t make it, I’m blaming the movie. If we can blame the movies for violence, we can also blame movies for my love life.