The Morning After: The Fallout

Welcome to another episode of As the World Turns Around Thoughtsy and Kiefer. Thank you for tuning in.

After Kiefer and I got back together, everything was magically perfect.

Yeah, right.

I thought I was ok. I thought everything was all better. I thought I was strong.

I wasn’t.

I was insecure. I couldn’t believe I had just opened myself up to potential heartbreak…again. What the hell was I thinking?!

That first week, Kiefer got several texts like this:

  • I’m freaking out.
  • When you said…, did you mean…?
  • I thought of another question to ask you.
  • Send me a text with something nice…now.
  • Later we need to talk more about….
  • I’m seriously freaking out. Seriously.

I picked up the phone. I put it down. I typed a text, but I didn’t send it. I told myself to wait 10 minutes, and then if I still wanted to send it, I would.

I almost always still wanted to send it.

After I hit “Send,” I thought, Doh!

When we were broken up, I didn’t have this problem. I was in charge. I was in control. I never texted Kiefer. Kiefer texted me, and I decided if and when to reply. What the hell was happening to me? Kiefer was going to find my insecurity soooooo attractive.

Then it hit me. F that. Kiefer is why I’m feeling this way. He can either deal with the fallout, with the consequences of his actions/inactions, or he can’t.

And if he can’t, all that stuff he said about missing me and wanting to be with me, it was crap-ola.

But Kiefer did more than deal with it. Each frantic text was met with a phone call to talk, to calm me down. If he was in a meeting, I got a text.

Sometimes I got a phone call and text. And then a followup text or call to make sure I was still ok. Sometimes there were flowers.

And sometimes there was dessert.

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

18 responses to “The Morning After: The Fallout

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