Did you see the new David Zinczenko article about the 7 Worst Holiday Foods? There’s a second author: Matt Goulding. I don’t know what to make of this new author.
Did the TPing of the Zincster’s house make him back off? Or did he just hire a scapegoat? Is this Matt Goulding sidekick going to be a good influence or a bad influence?
Let’s see…shall we?
- Starbucks Peppermint Mocha. Ewww. I don’t like coffee anyways.
- Eggnog. Ewww. I don’t like…nog.
- Dunkin’ Donuts Cinnamon Swirl Muffin. I’ve never had it, but it sounds good. They suggest getting Munchkins instead which seems like an ok compromise.
- Reese’s Peanut Butter Snowman. Get the mini Christmas tree instead? Good advice, but what about people who don’t celebrate Christmas? Is there a peanut butter dreidel?
- Denny’s Turkey Melt with Fries. Puh-lease. I haven’t been to a Denny’s since college for drunken munchie food.
- IHOP Eggnog Pancakes. Why get those when you can get the new cinnastack ones? It’s like a giant cinnamon bun pancake…with crack.
Cinna-crack Pancakes
- Dairy Queen Reindeer Bites Blizzard. Ice cream? Caramel? Chocolate chunks? Pie crust?
I…uh…have to run out for a minute. Please discuss below. I’ll be right back.
Thoughts Appear 
December 13th, 2011 at 8:56 am
Holy reindeer biscuits!! There is a Dairy Queen right down the road. Yummmm!
December 13th, 2011 at 8:59 am
I wouldn’t be tempted by numbers 1 or 2 but I’m always a sucker for a DQ blizzard! I’m surprised by some of the “healthier” options they mention–instead of a peanut butter snowman, have a peanut butter Christmas tree? I’m sure there’s got to be even better options out there!
December 14th, 2011 at 9:12 am
I think they’re chalking up to splurging on a few extra calories. I was surprised a healthier option wasn’t “Dip a carrot stick in chocolate.”
December 13th, 2011 at 9:06 am
I don’t like coffee either, yuck!
December 13th, 2011 at 9:30 am
McDonald’s is missing from that list? What? I’m sure they have some quadruple burger, french fries, covered with secret sugar coma sauce to offer this season! I’d be tempted by the Reese’s snowman. Lots of peanut butter chocolatey goodness!
December 14th, 2011 at 9:12 am
I guess McDonalds doesn’t have enough holiday themed food. Surely they have an egg nog shake or something though?
December 13th, 2011 at 9:31 am
If you time this right you can get to all of these in one day- since Dairy Queen and Dunkin Donuts are to go- and still make it to a 3:00 angioplasty! Good times! Maybe you can get the anesthesiologist to use that seasonal eggnog flavored propofol for added festivity….
December 13th, 2011 at 10:11 am
4000 cal for those pancakes? oy. Who eats eggnog pancakes anyways. Yuck. I’m a sucker for starbucks holiday drinks though. *sigh*
December 13th, 2011 at 10:28 am
I am astonished at the amount of calories in some of that food! The eggnog pancakes have so many calories, I had to look twice to be sure I was seeing right lol! But, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ignore the nutritional information on that cinnamon swirl muffin and the blizzard. They’re just too damn good.
December 14th, 2011 at 9:14 am
I like that they have the miniblizzards now. Just the right size.
December 13th, 2011 at 10:38 am
I’ll have a number 7, please. 🙂
December 14th, 2011 at 9:14 am
You and me both!
December 13th, 2011 at 10:54 am
Holy Yum! I need to try those! They look really good!
December 13th, 2011 at 11:12 am
The sugar-free peppermint mocha (without whipped cream) is still pretty good…if you like your coffee COVERED in chemical taste. Which, occasionally, I do not mind.
December 13th, 2011 at 12:17 pm
I’m not sure what to say about your lack of coffee. I have to admit I have a hard time trusting anyone who doesn’t like coffee… on the other hand, you also eat nerd ropes and pink snowballs, so you HAVE to be OK…
Crap, I just realized how close the nearest DQ is. Excuse me, I have to go get me some of that.
December 14th, 2011 at 9:15 am
Can I go with you?
December 13th, 2011 at 12:18 pm
I can’t have the Blizzard because I don’t eat reindeer.
December 14th, 2011 at 9:15 am
It’s not real reindeer, so you’re ok. It’s like tofu reindeer.
December 13th, 2011 at 12:33 pm
OMG! That #7 looks completely delish. Luckily, the nearest DQ to me is the one near you, I believe, so I think I am safe. Because it’s not like my complete and utter lack of will power would keep me from that thing! The rest of the list? Meh. I don’t do the holiday drinks, really, and nothing else there jumps out at me. I’m safe as long as I avoid the DQ, apparently. You did say pie crust, right? Yum.
December 14th, 2011 at 9:17 am
I’m not a fan of holiday drinks either. I think that means I can go to DQ 7 times.
December 13th, 2011 at 12:33 pm
I love coffee, but the real stuff only please. Not the “flavors”, which to my way of thinking is obscene. Gross! None of that stuff sounds good to me. So I won’t be doing my “Lent” in December and saying I’m not having those things as a sacrifice.
I do like an occasional hot buttered rum. Or perhaps a nice single malt scotch. Or a bottle of “Silver Oak” cab. Prime rib, lobster tails, and Belgian chocolates and I’m staying for the week.
December 14th, 2011 at 9:18 am
I’ve never had hot buttered rum. I may have to try it.
December 13th, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Your blog always makes me hungry!!
December 14th, 2011 at 9:18 am
Me, too!
December 13th, 2011 at 12:48 pm
The best is IHOP pumpkin pancake. I lived off those while pregnant with both my kids. It’s only seasonal and not every IHOP makes them.
Luckily my kids are Nov./Dec. born and there was always plenty of pumpin pancakes to be had.
Also, Starbucks Pumpkin Spice coffee is pretty yum. 🙂 Oh, I want some now.
December 14th, 2011 at 9:19 am
Pumpkin? Ewwwww….
December 13th, 2011 at 12:58 pm
I hate nog AND peppermint coffee! Boooo!!!!
December 13th, 2011 at 12:59 pm
Everything on that list sounds yum-o-licious to me. But I really want Linda’s ideal meal above. mmmmmmm.
December 13th, 2011 at 1:07 pm
Starbucks peppermint mochas are my favorite! This year I’ve been enjoying the delicious artificiality of the sugar-free version.
December 13th, 2011 at 1:31 pm
You know how I am with my coffee! OF COURSE I tried the peppermint mocha. Two things….. 1st, the peppermint white mochas are ten times better and 2nd, they are better at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf than they are at Starbucks!
(GASP)
Yes, I said it! DOn’t hurt me it’s the holiday season people 🙂
December 13th, 2011 at 4:24 pm
“Peanut butter dreidel” – Ha!
Those Cinna-crack pancakes make my teeth hurt just looking at them.
This Matt person sounds a bit more reasonable. David would just tell you to go outside and eat the carrot nose off your snowman. Buzzkill.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:59 pm
Pft, you can get those peppermint mochas “skinny” with sugarfree syrup…so he needs to BACK UP.
December 14th, 2011 at 9:20 am
I sense he’s hit a nerve….
December 13th, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Dear lawd. Isn’t something on that list supposed to be deep fried? Or is that only something we do in summer?
PS Don’t knock the ‘nog till you’ve had my dad’s made-from-scratch. /justdiedfromdelish.
December 14th, 2011 at 9:20 am
I bet he had a Thanksgiving list that included deep-fried turkey.