The other weekend I watched Breaking Dawn: Part 1.
Before you start moaning and groaning or click away, hear me out.
Let’s start with the birds and bees. When a boy and a girl fall in love, they have sex.
You’ll want to sit down for this next part.
A stork does not bring babies. (I know, I know. I was shocked as well.)
Sex leads to babies. That’s why it’s always important to have protected sex…even when your husband is a vampire. Just because he’s dead, doesn’t mean his baby batter is dead as well.
And now I present to you the pros and cons of vampire pregnancy.
- Pro: You have a quick pregnancy.
- Pro: You put all of the weight in your tummy…because the baby is sucking the life out of you (Con).
- Con: The pregnancy will break your back…and kill you.
- Pro: You won’t have to breastfeed because your baby only wants blood.
- Pro: You come back as a beautiful vampire.
After carefully weighing all of that, a vampire pregnancy sounds like a good option. I just joined Team Edward.
Here’s what else I learned from Breaking Dawn: Part 1.
- Fathers who are cops are scary…because they have guns…and know how to use them…and will use them on their daughter’s husband.
- Kristen Stewart is skinny. Too skinny. Her scrawny legs freak me out.
- I will never get tired of looking at Taylor Lautner (my future cabana boy) shirtless. Never.
Anyways…now I have a dilemma. Should I rewatch the entire saga for Movies Teach Us?
I didn’t like Twilight. I don’t particularly want to watch it again. But I will. For the blog. For you, my blog buddies.