Just to clarify, the Turkey Trot is a 5k, not a dance.
Thanksgiving morning I ran the Turkey Trot. Why? Because I’m insane obviously.
Because I wanted the freedom to have as many desserts and carbs as I wanted on Thanksgiving. And because I needed to cross off #31 from my 35 Before 35 List. And because the registration fees help people with mental illness.
I followed How I Met Your Mother‘s Barney’s marathon advice: Don’t train, just go out there and run it.
- Decide to run the Turkey Trot one day before the 5k.
Pop-Tarts healthysugary cereal. The sugar high will carry you through the first milethe yoga.
- Do yoga to stretch out.
- Try on 5 different running outfits (too warm, not warm enough, too tight, too loose, shows panty lines) before deciding on one.
- When lining up at the starting line, stay near the back near all the walkers. Running past the walkers gives you an ego boost.
- The race starts. Run 2 feet.
- Walk the next 20 feet because too many people are clumped up.
- Jog the first mile because you know you can only jog about a mile and a half.
- The person in front of you farts. Pass him.
- Reach the 2-mile marker and decide you have to run the last mile.
- Cross the finish line.
- Pass out.
- Come to and go back to cheer on other runners.
I ran the Turkey Trot in 33:50. I came in 825th place out of 1602. I ran pretty slowly, but I’ve never run more than a mile and a half, so I was proud of myself for jogging the entire 3 miles.
Someone ran it in 15:22. That’s insane. He must have eaten sugary cereal at each mile to keep the sugar high boost.