Finally…after months of a Pop-Tart-free diet…I caved.
What was the cause of demise? Multiple factors.
- Closure of the Pop-Tarts store in NYC.
- Halloween candy withdraw.
- Stress about the Ravens-Steelers game.
- Stress about being trapped in a wrecked car for days and starving to death.
That actually almost happened to a little girl. Do you know what probably saved her life (besides the seatbelt)?
True story. And that is why you should carry Pop-Tarts with you at all times. All times, people. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
You know what else made me give in to Pop-Tart consumption?
A new flavor Pop-Tart:
Baby Seal Sugar Cookie.
That’s right. I tore open my Pop-Tart to package only to be face-to-face with a baby seal…in a hat…waving at me.
Baby Seal: Hello! (Baby Seal sounds like Mr. Bill.)
Baby Seal: Why are you looking at me like that?
Me: Like what?
Baby Seal: Like that! Like you’re going to eat me.
Me: ::evil grin::
Baby Seal: NOOOOOOOOOO! I could be your new Pete!*
Me: Nice try, Baby Seal. But Pete was a penguin…and not made of delicious Pop-Tart. Nom Nom Nom.
*If you’re new around here, you’re probably thinking, Who the hell is Pete? Pete was a penguin Kiefer got me from Africa. Unfortunately, the original Pete the Penguin was eaten by a shark. But when I visited Tampa, I got to meet Petey Junior, aka RePete.