For years, I’ve wanted to revisit the Maryland Renaissance Festival. Years, I tell you.
The last time I was there was 7 years ago. Mephistopheles and I went…on the same day he decided to quit smoking. Lovely. And by lovely, I mean miserable. We bought his grumpy nicotine-starved-butt some cigarettes, got lunch, and then left.
So when Misty said she’d go with me, I was superexcited!
She told you about our new drunken friend, Chris. He let me borrow his hat, and that made him a-ok in my book.
And I saw a unicorn. They do exist…so there! And they give out free hugs.
Here are some other things I saw at the Maryland Renaissance Festival.
I learned a lot at the Renaissance Festival. Here are just a few examples:
- You can eat Stormtroopers.
- “Like a ferret on crack” is the funniest phrase ever.
- Cheese puns are endless.
- Stop stringing me along.
- I don’t go to church; I pray to Gouda.
- Something…Something…Something about cheese because lacks-toes (lactose). Sorry I messed this one up.
So next year go to the Maryland Renaissance Festival…unless you’re a Dallas Cowboys fan.