Unicorns Do Exist

For years, I’ve wanted to revisit the Maryland Renaissance Festival. Years, I tell you.

The last time I was there was 7 years ago. Mephistopheles and I went…on the same day he decided to quit smoking. Lovely. And by lovely, I mean miserable. We bought his grumpy nicotine-starved-butt some cigarettes, got lunch, and then left.

So when Misty said she’d go with me, I was superexcited!

She told you about our new drunken friend, Chris. He let me borrow his hat, and that made him a-ok in my book.

And I saw a unicorn. They do exist…so there! And they give out free hugs.

Here are some other things I saw at the Maryland Renaissance Festival.

Elephant Rides! I'm doing this next time!

V for Vendetta Guy

Funny Improv Actors. That

Knife Throwing at Dallas Cowboy Fans

Making Dallas Cowboy Fans Look Silly Before Throwing Knives

I learned a lot at the Renaissance Festival. Here are just a few examples:

  • You can eat Stormtroopers.
  • “Like a ferret on crack” is the funniest phrase ever.
  • Cheese puns are endless.
    • Stop stringing me along.
    • I don’t go to church; I pray to Gouda.
    • Something…Something…Something about cheese because lacks-toes (lactose). Sorry I messed this one up.

So next year go to the Maryland Renaissance Festival…unless you’re a Dallas Cowboys fan.

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

47 responses to “Unicorns Do Exist

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