First, I watched Inglorious Basterds. I learned only
3 1 thing: Nazis are bad.Knew that. Quentin Tarantino makes really bloody movies.Knew that, too.
- When you’re pretending to be German, if you need to use your fingers to show the number 3, use your thumb and your first two fingers (just like American Sign Language). If you don’t, you’ll get shot in the balls.
But since I don’t have balls, I didn’t learn anything pertinent from this movie.
Before I tell you what I learned, I have a question: Am I the only one who thought it was weird that a 12-year-old made out with a woman the same age as his mother?
- When you make a wish, be very specific. Tom Hanks could have ended up being “big” like 50 feet tall or 500 pounds.
- Pulling your pants down as an adult to show your mom your birthmark…not a good idea.
- In 1988 there was not a ridiculously long line at the giant keyboard in FAO Schwarz.
And finally, I watched The Dilemma.
Obviously, movies teach us a lot. Hence, the more movies I watch, the smarter I become. I’m pretty sure I’m approaching genius status because I learned only one thing from this movie as well.
- Just because Vince Vaughn and Kevin James are in a movie doesn’t mean it’s going to be funny.