Remember back in June when I turned 30? Well, for an hour every day, I’m still 29.
Every day Mr. Elliptical asks me to enter my age and weight. And every day I lie about my age.
I push the down arrow repeatedly:
35, 34, 33, 32, 31, 30….
Then I look around to see if anyone I know is closeby, and when the coast is clear, I push the down arrow one more time: 29.
At first, it was out of habit. But I’ve been 30 for 3 months now, so there’s no excuse.
Or is there? Don’t most women lie about their weight? If I’m telling the truth about my weight, can’t I lie about my age?
There is no way I’m lying about my weight to Mr. Elliptical. I’m pretty sure the elliptical weighs you once you step up onto it.
I bet there is a 3-pound grace, and if the weight you enter is more than 3 pounds different from your actual weight, I bet a siren goes off, lights flash, and a robotic Mr. Elliptical voice says, We’ve got a fatty on the 2nd elliptical from the left!
I’m still waiting for that same voice to say, Your heart rate is up already? You’re sooooo out of shape.
But there’s no way the elliptical can see the new wrinkle in my forehead. So maybe I’ll just keep entering 29. At least for another year…or two.