In high school, my English teacher took us on a field trip to Towson University. We also stopped at the local Borders (RIP) for an assignment: Find a book, buy it, read it, write a paper about it.
I chose Francesca Lia Block’s I Was a Teenage Fairy.
Since then, I’ve read over a dozen of her books. She’s an amazing writer who works wonders with similes, metaphors, and imagery.
So because I love mythology, and due to recent events, I decided to read her book: Wood Nymph Seeks Centaur: A Mythological Dating Guide.
Block divides men and women into types and compares them to mythological characters. So who am I? Fairy? Wood Nymph? Mermaid? Banshee? Vamp?
I’m a hybrid: Pixie-Tess. In summary, a pixie is light-hearted, calm, enjoys outdoor activities, but when she’s upset, she retreats to herself. Tesses are friendly, loyal, compassionate, very sensitive, shy, and often put others before themselves.
Of course, I also had to read the male descriptions, so I could see what Kiefer was and whether or not we were compatible in the mythological world.
It didn’t take me long to figure out what Kiefer was: part Tree Elf, part Merman. Tree Elves like outdoor activities, are social, and they tend to fear commitment. Ah-ha! The Merman aka The Dude (Remember Kiefer was the Big Lebowski last year for Halloween?) are liberal, extremely laidback, and outdoorsy. They’re also not into commitment until later in life.
The book said that our types were well-suited for each other…just not until Kiefer is ready to settle down and turns 40…which is next year.