For years I’ve said, “I believe in ghosts, but I don’t believe in aliens.”
Why? Because aliens are scarier than ghosts, and I don’t want aliens to be real. A ghost may scare you enough to pee your pants, but an alien may give you an anal probe. I’d rather pee my pants, thankyouverymuch.
This weekend I watched two movies: ET and Insidious.
That demon from Insidious…he was scary. Those claws! ::shudder::
But ET and I…we could be buddies. Best buddies.
- ET likes Reese’s Pieces; I like Reese’s Pieces.
- ET does whatever Elliott does. I like it when people do whatever I say without questioning.
- ET makes Elliott fly; I’d like to fly.
- ET builds and fixes thing; I tend to break things.
- ET phoned home; I like to get phone calls.
ET and I could definitely be BFFs.
Mostly, I was too busy realizing I needed an alien BFF to take notes on what I learned from ET and Insidious. But I managed one tip for each movie.
From ET, I learned that calling your brother “Penis breath” will make your mother laugh as she scolds you, so you don’t really get in trouble.
From Insidious, I learned that falling asleep makes you susceptible to ghosts and demons. So don’t fall asleep…ever.