For years I’ve said, “I believe in ghosts, but I don’t believe in aliens.”
Why? Because aliens are scarier than ghosts, and I don’t want aliens to be real. A ghost may scare you enough to pee your pants, but an alien may give you an anal probe. I’d rather pee my pants, thankyouverymuch.
This weekend I watched two movies: ET and Insidious.
That demon from Insidious…he was scary. Those claws! ::shudder::
But ET and I…we could be buddies. Best buddies.
- ET likes Reese’s Pieces; I like Reese’s Pieces.
- ET does whatever Elliott does. I like it when people do whatever I say without questioning.
- ET makes Elliott fly; I’d like to fly.
- ET builds and fixes thing; I tend to break things.
- ET phoned home; I like to get phone calls.
ET and I could definitely be BFFs.
Mostly, I was too busy realizing I needed an alien BFF to take notes on what I learned from ET and Insidious. But I managed one tip for each movie.
From ET, I learned that calling your brother “Penis breath” will make your mother laugh as she scolds you, so you don’t really get in trouble.
From Insidious, I learned that falling asleep makes you susceptible to ghosts and demons. So don’t fall asleep…ever.
August 17th, 2011 at 7:39 am
I liked it when the government scientists in the bulky “spacesuits” lumber silently into Elliott’s house with their arms outstretched, because that’s exactly how government scientists walk in real life. Spielberg’s attention to detail is just uncanny.
August 18th, 2011 at 6:59 am
I found that scene hilarious! I wasn’t sure if they were scientists or zombies.
August 17th, 2011 at 7:40 am
The trailer for Insidious already horrified me enough, I’m not planning on watching the movie anytime too. I hate that scary guy. ET is good people (alien?) though.
August 17th, 2011 at 7:50 am
I leaned that “no sleepy” thing way back when I was 8 and watched “A Nightmare on Elm Street”. I’m glad Hollywood keeps the fear of sleeping alive. People gotta be warned.
August 17th, 2011 at 10:21 am
I would also like to note that ET was the cause of many bicycle crashes when my brother and I decided to try to “recreate” the movie poster. And none of the pictures came out.
August 18th, 2011 at 7:01 am
I’d much rather deal with Freddie than the Insidious guy. Freddie only has one clawed hand; the other guy had 2.
I love that you tried to recreate the movie poster. Did you have a toy ET? Maybe that’s why it didn’t work.
August 17th, 2011 at 7:52 am
ET was one of the first movies I remember seeing in the actual movie theater. I love that little guy. He was the epitome of ugly/cute. Plus I REALLY wanted to be able to fly on a bike. That was super awesome!
August 18th, 2011 at 7:02 am
I loved the part in the movie where ET gets on the scale and Elliott says, “How can you only weigh 35 pounds? You’re so fat!” I totally didn’t remember that part.
August 18th, 2011 at 8:13 am
I don’t remember that part. Then again the last time I saw the movie was probably over 20 years ago. Yep, I’m old. The memory goes at this age as well. I think I remember hearing that somewhere anyway . . .
August 18th, 2011 at 8:54 am
That scene wasn’t in the original. It was added back in when he did the 20 year re-release thing. They put in deleted scenes and re-vamped some stuff using new technology.
August 18th, 2011 at 9:53 am
That makes me feel better! If it wasn’t in there originally, I don’t feel like my memory is going.
August 17th, 2011 at 8:08 am
ET is adorable! When I was a girl I had a ‘stuffed’ ET that I loved so much – he was covered in vinyl and looked like an authentic miniature version. Wish I still had him, but he had to go home. 🙂 I just watched the trailer to Insidious… looks like I’m gonna have to check that one out!
August 18th, 2011 at 7:03 am
It definitely freaked me out! Let me know how it compares to Final Destination.
August 17th, 2011 at 8:55 am
I was terrified of ET as a kid. Could not watch it without running away, crying and having nightmares. Damn ET.
August 18th, 2011 at 7:04 am
But ET was a nice alien!
August 17th, 2011 at 9:24 am
I haven’t been able to sleep much over the past week (I just need more hours in a day, that’s all), SO that means I have been keeping myself save from demons and ghosts! Thanks for finding the silver lining to my week, Thoughts! Ha! 😀
August 18th, 2011 at 7:05 am
There’s always a silver lining! Sorry to hear that you haven’t been sleeping though. =(
August 17th, 2011 at 9:49 am
In another moment of aspiring to be Cool Mom, I agreed to see Insidious with my 21-year-old. He regretted my decision when I screamed my brains out in the theater. He’s seen the movie 4x since then, thinking it’s the best scary movie he’s ever seen. I think I’ve become desensitized – this happens when you’re 50 – because, in the end, I thought it was kind of stupid. Mostly because I prefer movies that are believable. Like ET. Plus, ET’s a cute alien. Ghosts are never cute. (BTW, coincidentally, just this morning I did a post about ghosts!).
August 18th, 2011 at 7:09 am
Kudos to you for going with your son! Casper was a pretty cute ghost.
August 17th, 2011 at 10:18 am
Insidious is…insidious. That’s all I know. Because that’s all the trailer told me. Over and over and over. So I’m not going to watch it. So there, stupid movie trailer makers.
I’m glad ET has won you over to the alien race. I hope the aliens are watching and taking notes for who to send as their initial emissary. ET, yes. Alien from, well, Alien? No.
August 18th, 2011 at 7:10 am
The alien from Alien…definitely not a nice alien.
August 17th, 2011 at 10:20 am
Hey, wait, what about Patrck Swayze? He was a cute ghost!
I am with you, Thoughtsy, on the “no aliens” thing. I have a rule.
Rule #1. NO Aliens!
My second rule is:
Rule # 2. NO Ghosts!
And of course, the most obvious:
Rule # 3. NO Voices in my head!
These rules are immutable have been openly discussed with the Universe and all other Powers That Be. So far, So good. If they are out there, they are leaving me alone.
(although, I do sometimes wonder, if The Universe sometimes gets a little freaked out, because it keeps hearing MY voice talking to it?)
August 18th, 2011 at 7:19 am
I forgot about Patrick Swayze! I’m willing to say he’s not a cute ghost, he’s a hot ghost!
August 17th, 2011 at 10:51 am
I like aliens. They are already here. Ghosts don’t bother me that much one way or the other. They pretty much just do their own thing. Now on the other hand, while I don’t really mind vampires, I am not crazy about zombies. Vampires I can deal with because they don’t mess with you unless you invite them to. Zombies mess with you because that’s what they do.
August 17th, 2011 at 11:00 am
FOR ME, I CANNOT HANDLE WEREWOLFS! THEY SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF ME!
August 18th, 2011 at 7:21 am
I’m all about the vampires.
Did you say aliens are already here? NOT LISTENING!
August 17th, 2011 at 10:59 am
ET WAS GREAT! GOT ME LIKING REECES! I LIKED IT WHEN ET DRANK BEER AND ELLIOTT GOT DRUNK IN CLASS. THAT WAS FUNNY! WHAT ABOUT THE GHOSTS IN “THIRTEEN GHOSTS”? THEY WERE HIDEOUS, AS LONG AS YOU WERE WEARING THOSE SPECIAL GLASSES. SINCE HALLOWEEN IS ONLY 75 DAYS AWAY…. WE’RE PULLING OUT ALL OF THE “HALLOWEEN” MOVIES TO GET US IN THE MOOD. WE’VE GOT THE POPCORN, COME WATCH WITH US!
August 18th, 2011 at 8:00 am
The ghosts in 13 Ghosts were really scary looking!
August 17th, 2011 at 12:46 pm
I called my sister ‘penis breath’ when I was a kid after watching this movie, and I got in sooo muuuchhh trouble.
You lucky bastard, you.
August 18th, 2011 at 8:00 am
Ooops! Maybe your parents were the exception?
August 17th, 2011 at 1:08 pm
When my kids were small, they were obsessed with ET and watched the movie like twelve times or more EVERY week…needless to say, I haven’t watched it in years!
August 18th, 2011 at 8:02 am
My brother and I used to be obsessed with the movie True Lies. We came home every day from school and watched it for awhile.
August 17th, 2011 at 1:30 pm
I would much rather watch ET! Although scariest sci-fi movie I have ever seen was Event Horizon. I wouldn`t go into the house alone after watching it. Demons, Ghost, and Space is enough to give me the willies.
August 18th, 2011 at 8:08 am
I’ve never seen Event Horizon. Maybe I should watch it!
August 17th, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Claws are always a bad sign. I just dont know if things get claws because they are evil, or they have claws and that turns them evil.
August 18th, 2011 at 8:09 am
Esme has claws…oh no!
August 17th, 2011 at 2:21 pm
I saw that movie Insidious… I could not sleep for two nights straight. I had to sleep with the lights on and I kept seeing that demon’s face.
It was horrible!!!
August 18th, 2011 at 8:10 am
Luckily, I watched it during the day, so I think it wasn’t too bad for me. And Esme is a pretty good guard cat.
August 17th, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Falling asleep is for sissies anyway. But speaking of sissies: I wonder, how tough can any demon be, really, if it has to come for you in your sleep?
August 18th, 2011 at 8:11 am
I must be a huge sissy…for 8 hours every day.
That’s an excellent point about the demon. Wussy demon….
August 17th, 2011 at 7:50 pm
WE HAVE A GHOST!! Seriously, my 12-year-old is totally freaking out. First we learned from the Blogess(dot com) how to use a toothpick and lightly write on a banana which my husband did, and Noah saw the one that said Hello and was like, “What?” and kept asking me if we had a ghost and I was like, “I dunno.” He was like, “I thought you didn’t believe in ghosts” and I answered, “Well aren’t ghosts supposed to be mean? That just says hello. Big deal.” Then he inspected the other bananas and found the one that said, “Run. He’s behind you.” and he BURST into tears. I was in hysterics (laughing) because I’m an awesome mom and then I told him the truth. But THEN, our TV started changing channels on its own. Seriously. We turn it off on “Suite Life on Deck” and turn it on to the music channel. Every time we turn it on it’s on the music channel. Yesterday it changed while Noah was watching, “Good Luck Charlie.” He is in an absolute panic and I’m a bit nervous myself.
August 18th, 2011 at 8:12 am
I believe you. You probably pissed off a ghost by mocking it and now it’s messing with your TV…ABC Family channel is next!
August 17th, 2011 at 8:29 pm
Funny, I just watched ET this week. I hadn’t seen it in years, but it’s still good. I can’t help it – I cry when he “dies” and then comes back. Every time. I can’t watch the scary movies at all. But I want to know what happens. So, like all the other scary movies you ever mention, I’ll have to go now and check out the Insidious plot on Wikipedia. Yeah, I’m a wuss like that. But I’ll be able to sleep tonight. 🙂
August 18th, 2011 at 8:13 am
I hadn’t seen ET in years either.
Maybe if you already know the plot of Insidious, it won’t be as scary and then you can watch it.
August 18th, 2011 at 8:57 am
No.
I looked it up and now I know the plot, so I’m good. That’s as far as my bravery will get me.
August 18th, 2011 at 11:11 am
My kids just watched ET not long ago for the first time. My mom had it on VHS. They didn’t even know what VHS was. It was sad. So, anywho, they watched ET and they loved it and my 8 yo cried.I have no point …lol.
August 19th, 2011 at 6:33 am
Ah, yes, VHS. I have about 20 or so tapes. I should probably get rid of them, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.
August 19th, 2011 at 12:27 pm
I don’t know which is scarier for me, aliens or ghosts. ET’s not scary, but the aliens from Aliens were. Ghosts may be scary, but it depends on if they can grab solid things or not. A ghost with an axe would be scary. But, anal probing sounds pretty unpleasant, too. Hopefully, I’ll never meet a ghost or an alien, and I’ll never know which is scarier.
August 19th, 2011 at 12:36 pm
I THINK I’m more afraid of ghosts…because I feel like the odds of running across a ghost in my lifetime are higher than an alien. Aliens come every once in a while, while people are dying every day and I imagine ghosts are like …everywhere. Maybe it’s flawed reasoning. 🙂
August 22nd, 2011 at 7:33 am
[…] thoughtsappear – likes scary movies, but I don’t hold that against her. She’s another funny one, and you can find a […]