Moving to Hawaii

Aloha! My coworker and I decided to move to Hawaii. My dreams of having a Cabana Boy may finally come true.

We started a list to help with the move.

  • Find a job.

At first, I thought, Does it really matter what job? I’ll be in Hawaii! I could bus tables and still be happy. Then I learned the cost of living in Hawaii is pretty high. Bummer.

 

  • Find a Cabana Boy.

What’s the point of living in Hawaii if I can’t have a Cabana Boy? I’m accepting applications now if you’d like to apply.

  • Plant a garden.

My coworker (She’s the one who coined the term “faucet butt.”) said fresh produce is expensive there, so we’ll need to plant our own fruits and vegetables.

  • Buy a cow.

This item is also my coworker’s contribution. Apparently, milk is expensive in Hawaii. But I have the following questions/concerns:

  • Do cows know how to use a litter box?
  • That’s a lot of newspaper to lay down. Probably equivalent to what we’d spend on milk.
  • Who will actually do the milking? I nominate her 6-year-old son or 2-year-old daughter.

On second thought, maybe living in Hawaii with a Cabana Boy isn’t worth the cow clean-up.

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

54 responses to “Moving to Hawaii

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