Aloha! My coworker and I decided to move to Hawaii. My dreams of having a Cabana Boy may finally come true.
We started a list to help with the move.
- Find a job.
At first, I thought, Does it really matter what job? I’ll be in Hawaii! I could bus tables and still be happy. Then I learned the cost of living in Hawaii is pretty high. Bummer.
- Find a Cabana Boy.
What’s the point of living in Hawaii if I can’t have a Cabana Boy? I’m accepting applications now if you’d like to apply.
- Plant a garden.
My coworker (She’s the one who coined the term “faucet butt.”) said fresh produce is expensive there, so we’ll need to plant our own fruits and vegetables.
- Buy a cow.
This item is also my coworker’s contribution. Apparently, milk is expensive in Hawaii. But I have the following questions/concerns:
- Do cows know how to use a litter box?
- That’s a lot of newspaper to lay down. Probably equivalent to what we’d spend on milk.
- Who will actually do the milking? I nominate her 6-year-old son or 2-year-old daughter.
On second thought, maybe living in Hawaii with a Cabana Boy isn’t worth the cow clean-up.