I love concerts more than anything. More than chocolate. Wait. Not more than chocolate.
There’s nothing like hearing good music while being squashed in a tiny space with complete strangers pushing you around.
When I was 16, my 21-year-old boyfriend (Yeah, my parents loved that.) took me to my very first concert: Aerosmith. I thought, Aerosmith? Don’t they only have that one song: Walk This Way? This is going to stink.
Let’s stop here for a moment and reflect on how sheltered and innocent I was.
- I couldn’t even use the word “suck.”
- I barely knew who Aerosmith was.
My next concert was when I was 19 at the 930 Club in Washington, DC: The Get Up Kids. They were kind of punk.
The smaller setting traumatized me. As much as my boyfriend tried to protect me…
- I got pushed and elbowed.
- Someone squeezed my butt.
- Crowd surfers kicked me.
- I was nearly trampled.
- I screamed, “You’re in my personal space!” and “Stop touching me!”
I hated every second of it because no one warned me. Give a girl a heads up!
But now it’s different.
I want to be where the action is. Feel the lead singer’s sweat. Catch the guitar pick or drumstick or whatever else the band throws. Jump up and down.
Here are some things I wish someone had told me. So I’m telling you. Plus, I don’t want you to end up like the crazy guy from the recent Cowboy Mouth concert.
- If you’re near the front, look behind you. It hurts when a crowd surfer lands on your head.
- If you crowd surf, prepare to be groped. Complete strangers will squeeze your butt, boobies, and moobies…on purpose.
- Dress in clothes you don’t mind getting dirty. Inevitably, someone will spill beer on you.
- Don’t wear the t-shirt of the band you’re seeing. Like in PCU, don’t be that guy.
- Know some of the band’s songs. It’s more fun when you sing along.
With this knowledge, run along to your concert prepared and ready to rock.