Lock Up Your Women, Children, and Cupcakes!

I perused my blog’s search terms the other day, and I saw this:

I like ketchup on my ketchup.

Dude, that’s so me. Whoever wrote that…you’re my soulmate. Call me.

Anyways, this post’s purpose is to serve as a warning. I found something else in the search terms.

A zombie ate my cupcake.

Those bastards!

Apparently, the zombie apocalypse has begun. Lock up, your women, children, and cupcakes.

Here’s a Q&A session using other search-term questions:

  • Where do I hide my methadone when flying? Uhhh…I need to stop referring to good food as crack.
  • Do Pop-Tarts give you an enlarged penis? Pop-Tarts made my boobs bigger, so they probably have the same effect on male organs as well.
  • How do you get a cat to grant your wish? This is just a myth.
  • How do you make a Pop-Tart purse? Until Pop-Tarts are spinkle- and crumb-free, a Pop-Tart purse is just a big idea.
  • Can I eat Pop-Tarts every morning with milk? No. The sprinkles react with the milk and cause your stomach to explode. Just like Pop Rocks and soda. Then…you get faucet butt.

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

25 responses to “Lock Up Your Women, Children, and Cupcakes!

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