Vampires Are Real But James Bond Is Not

Some movies you have to watch. When Kiefer said he hadn’t seen the movies below, I made it my mission to remedy the situation.

  • Nightmare Before Christmas
  • Army of Darkness
  • Phantom of the Opera

In return, Kiefer introduced me to Blues Brothers, The Big Lebowski, and Memento.

All of the movies were wonderful, so because we were on a movie roll, Kiefer even watched the first Twilight movie with me.

And thus, the movie streak was broken.

And then I learned something about relationships: Some things you’ll never live down. Ever.

Kiefer: Can I have a sip of your sangria?

Me: No.

Kiefer: Remember the time I watched that horrible movie with you? What was it? Oh yeah, Twilight.

In exchange for making him watch such an awful movie (and so I won’t have to always share my sangria), I watched a James Bond movie with him. I hate James Bond movies. Hate ’em!

The first Bond movie I ever saw included a scene where James Bond rode a motorcycle to catch a plane taking off. As he rode off a cliff, he jumped off the bike into the plane.

Pa-lease. Like that could ever happen. Only Batman could do that. Everyone knows you need a cape to do something like that.

Here’s where I pretend to be you and argue with myself.

Me Pretending to be You: So you don’t like Bond movies because they’re unrealistic? But you like vampires and werewolves, and they aren’t real! Explain yourself!

Me: I acknowledge that my reasoning makes no sense. Maybe if Bond wore a cape…. But James Bond is also cocky. And that annoys me.

Me Pretending to be You: Isn’t that Jacob Twilight character cocky?

Me: Yeah, well…uh…Shut up.

There’s no arguing with that.

Have a wonderful weekend!

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

57 responses to “Vampires Are Real But James Bond Is Not

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