With Kiefer gone, I had a lot of time to
clean practice sign language sit on my tushie shop watch movies. Usually I watch horror movies.
One time…while Kiefer was away…my brain momentarily shut down, and I decided to watch The Notebook. Huge mistake.
After the movie, Kiefer and I’s phone conversation went something like this:
Me: I miss you.
Kiefer: I miss you, too. I’ll be home in 3 days.
Me: (::beginning to sob::) That’s too long! I think you’ll hate me, but really you’ll be writing me letters, only Esme will have stolen them, so I’ll think you hate me. And then I’ll get Alzheimer’s and won’t remember you! And then we’ll die! (::sobbing hysterically::)
Kiefer: What the….
Me: I just watched The Notebook. I’ll be fine in a few minutes.
And that, my friends, is why I stick with horror movies. Less stressful for everyone.
So here are my observations from The Shining…
- My first thought was Stanley Kubrick and Stephen King? Maybe I should choose another movie. But since I’d seen it before, I figured I’d be fine.
- The roads in Colorado need guardrails.
- Jack Nicholson used to be young. Holy crap!
- Jack Nicholson plays crazy better than any other actor. (Except for Gary Busey. But that’s different because Gary is crazy. Remember when I almost met him?)
- “Red Rum” is “murder” spelled backwards.
- If your child has an imaginary friend or talking finger…be afraid, be very afraid.
- In 1980, women didn’t know how to hold and swing a bat.
And most importantly, once again, never go skiing or anywhere with loads of snow. Snow = Trouble.