It’s no secret that I hate birds (except Pete). If you didn’t know that, read this post.
I’ll wait.
Did you read it? I don’t wanna see any comments below about how birds are really very nice creatures, blah blah blah. Because if birds were really nice, they wouldn’t be terrorizing me.
Plus birds keep pooing on my blog buddy, Izzie. You can say, “But birds pooing on you is good luck!” Bah! That’s just a myth spread by those dirty little birdies.
Anyways, as you read in last year’s post, the current score is Thoughts 2, Birds 8. The flippin’ birds are winning. Jerks.
However, up until now, the birds have had an advantage: They outnumber me.
But not anymore! Now I have a sidekick. More than a sidekick. I have a secret weapon.
A secret weapon that…
- Jumps 5 feet into the air.
- Is faster than a speeding bullet.
- Has claws of steel.
- Has a bird-killing instinct (well, kinda).
- Has cat-like reflexes.
To illustrate my point better, maybe I should have picked a pic where she wasn't napping.
It’s Esme!
In the past month, two birds have manuevered their way into Blarney and I’s basement. And Esme has caught both of them!
Look out birds, we’re coming for you.
Thoughts and Esme, 4. Birds, 8.
Thoughts Appear 
May 3rd, 2011 at 7:35 am
Ah so cute!
May 3rd, 2011 at 7:36 am
But what if I told you my life had been saved by two birds?
And what if I then told you those first birds saved my life from another group of angrier birds?
May 4th, 2011 at 9:16 am
It’s an elaborate plan…they’ll get you later.
May 3rd, 2011 at 7:58 am
Amazing!
May 3rd, 2011 at 9:03 am
I grew up on a farm, and one day, the pigs stole the birds’ eggs, so the birds got together and built a slingshot, and … oh, wait. I’m thinking of something else. Never mind.
May 3rd, 2011 at 9:08 am
Way to close the gap! You and Esme will have those birds beat in no time.
After her nap, of course.
May 3rd, 2011 at 9:57 am
Go Esme Go!!
May 3rd, 2011 at 10:12 am
I got your text about this wayyyyy late. I take it it didn’t end well (again) for poor little tweety. Esme’s got that killer instinct. I’ll watch her a lot more closely from meow on!
May 4th, 2011 at 9:17 am
I wouldn’t call it killer. She just likes to toy with them.
May 3rd, 2011 at 11:07 am
Birds are also on my shit list. I witnessed a bird trying to attack my boyfriend first hand, it CHASED him. We eventually had to barricade ourselves in our apartment and heard this psycho stalking our door and flittering around. Not cool. Yay for Esme!
May 4th, 2011 at 9:18 am
Maybe your Esme look-a-like can help out with your bird problem.
May 3rd, 2011 at 12:45 pm
I like birds fine if they keep their distance. I was at a friend’s place and she has chickens. A chicken attacked me and I have never again felt bad about making up a batch of “Chicken Marsala”. I have Harry to chase birds. He is so disappointed when they fly off. He chases squirrels too, and has considerably more luck with catching them. I take a “live and let live” approach usually, but I’m very happy you have Esme because they are obviously out to get you.
May 4th, 2011 at 9:42 am
A rooster chased me once, so I understand about the chicken.
May 3rd, 2011 at 12:47 pm
I predict you’ll soon be invaded by a murder of crows, and things will rapidly deteriorate from there,
May 4th, 2011 at 9:42 am
NOOOOO! Wait, what’s your accuracy percentage with predictions?
Thanks for stopping by!
May 3rd, 2011 at 1:33 pm
I’m terrified of birds. I have been known to shriek and run in fear from a pigeon. I think I need to get myself a guard-Esme.
May 4th, 2011 at 9:43 am
I feel your birdie pain.
May 3rd, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Watch out for geese too–they’re mean!
Love those heart sheets.
May 4th, 2011 at 9:45 am
I’d believe it! I hate they way they honk.
The sheets are from Target. =)
May 3rd, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Esme is the Bird Whisperer!
May 3rd, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Go Esme!!! A new show is in Esme’s future titled: Esme the Bird Hunter!
May 3rd, 2011 at 5:16 pm
You have birds that can break into a house? Yeah, I’m with you, they are jerks. Scary jerks.
May 3rd, 2011 at 11:57 pm
The caption under Esme’s picture made me giggle like an idiot. Thanks.
May 4th, 2011 at 9:48 am
Thanks! Ooooo…I’m intrigued by your blog’s name. I’m off to visit!
May 4th, 2011 at 5:20 am
Nice. Got yourself a tomcat for the birds. That’s using your head.
May 4th, 2011 at 6:37 am
I totally agree with you — birds are evil. A Canadian Goose once blacked both my eyes when I tried to feed him a barbeque sandwich. Geese are dicks. But strong.
May 4th, 2011 at 9:46 am
Another goose story…I really need to steer clear of them. They sound like the big guns.