I’m back! You missed me, didn’t you? You want cruise details, don’t you?
Two Saturdays ago, we boarded our cruise ship: The Pequod. We didn’t meet the captain right away, but we chatted with the bartender (Flask), the porter (Ishmael), and the barista (Starbuck).
Thanks to his neverending flow of strawberry margaritas, me and Flask are like this (::fingers crossed::) now.
When we finally did meet Captain Ahab, he announced that instead of sailing to Cozumel and Grand Cayman, we would hunt whales instead.
Our captain then revealed that he was looking for one whale in particular: the Great White Whale. Captain Ahab seemed a little off his
rocker peg leg.
After hearing about a whale that ate someone’s arm, I began to think chasing whales was not safe.
One night I awoke from a nightmare about a peg arm when a typhoon struck! The dramamine didn’t help, so I projectile vomited everywhere.
Finally, we found the Great White Whale, and it destroyed everything.
Except for me. Obviously.
I should totally write a novel based on my experience.
Seriously though, I have bunches to tell you about the cruise, but here are the highlights:
- Strawberry margaritas are a good Pop-Tart substitute.
- I found Pete the Penguin.
- The best cruise diet is watermelon and dessert.
- Snorkeling is aweschome.
- I stabbed someone with a ice cream cone.