Do Cats Need a Passport?

Esme: How long are you going to be gone for?

Me: A week.

Esme: You’re not leaving me here with the dog, are you? Who will feed me, brush me, and empty my litter box while you’re gone? Did I ask who would feed me?

Me: No, I’m not leaving you with the dog. You’re going to my parents’ house.

Esme: Will they let me scratch and claw at them?

Me: No. (Tax Credit #4 taught me everything I know.)

Esme: Can I wake them up at 3:30 in the morning to feed me?

Me: No.

Esme: Can I sleep on their chests and nearly suffocate them in their sleep just like I do to you?

Me: No.

Esme: Wow, you’re kinda the best owner ever, aren’t you?

Me: Yep.

Esme: Can I come with you on your cruise?

 Me: No.

Esme: Best-owner-ever status withdrawn.


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

26 responses to “Do Cats Need a Passport?

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