All of you people who gave up chocolate or sweets for Lent…are you done withholding yet?
Because you’re killing me, Smalls. And you’re killing the economy.
Let me explain. Because you aren’t consuming sweets, store shelves are overflowing with impossible-to-resist candy.
- Cadbury creme eggs
- Cadbury chocolate eggs (Has anyone tested Cadbury chocolate to make sure crack isn’t an ingredient?)
- Jelly beans
- Chocolate bunnies
- Reese’s peanut butter eggs
The Easter candy looks so sad sitting on the shelves. So lonely. Even the Peeps beckon to me.
So because you aren’t buying it, I have to buy it. All of it. It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s gotta do it.
Think of the candy. Candies need homes, too.
Imagine what you can do with just a dollar a day.
Plus, the economy is in trouble. Someone has to pick up the slack of the nonsweets eaters during this time of year.
And that person is me. Remember that when I run for President in the next election.
Thoughtsy: The Woman Who Singlehandedly Saved the Economy One Candy at a Time