I Need a Magic Feather

Me: You’re supposed to be training me for my physical fitness test.

Kiefer: Fine. Get down and give me 20!

Me: Excuse me?

Kiefer: Please? Let me see your pushup technique.

Me: My technique is that I lower to the ground and then fall flat on my face.

Kiefer: I like your face. Please don’t mess it up.

After my demonstration, Kiefer showed me a gazillion ways to work my triceps. None of which seemed like fun.

So we switched to situps. Because let’s face it: I need to work on those, too. Who does full situps anymore? They hurt the base of your spine, and you need someone to hold your feet.

Since Kiefer used to be in the Army, he told me ways to “cheat” on situps, which I’m going to share with you:

  1. Once you get yourself up, slam yourself back into the ground so you bounce the momentum helps you get back up. He didn’t recommend this technique.
  2. You can’t move your hands from behind your head, but you can flap them in and out (so I’ll look like Dumbo), and that helps you sit up. Apparently in addition to situps and pushups, I also have to learn to fly.

I was hoping for something more along the lines of Kiefer tying an invisble rope to me to pull me up. He could do that for pushups and situps. Maybe even for the 2-mile run.

As you can see, Kiefer cheating tips stink, so I’m going to have to practice…a lot.

And I’ve decided to follow Zahara’s advice of doing 3 sets of 8 pushups from the knees every other day. Don’t tell Kiefer I’ve replaced him.

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

37 responses to “I Need a Magic Feather

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