Mallrats Is Why I’m Still Alive Today

guest post for Clay over at Educlaytion got me thinking about Kevin Smith movies. For a long time, I’ve always said Mallrats was my favorite. People responded by cringing. (You’d better not be cringing.)

So I’m asking…Why the face? What exactly was wrong with Mallrats?

You know what I learned from Mallrats? A lot of important life lessons.

  • Escalators maim people.
  • There is no Easter bunny.
  • I’m not the only one who doesn’t see the picture in 3-D art.
  • A sailboat is also known as a schooner.
  • Guys who read comics can start some shit.
  • Silent Bob is a Jedi. (Just like the Hipster.)
  • Never ride in the back of a Volkswagen. Unapparently, they’re very uncomfortable.

Probably the most important lesson I learned was Beware of the Stink Palm: Never accept chocolate from anyone without smelling their hands first.

On second thought, don’t accept chocolate from anyone unless it’s wrapped.

Actually…just get your own chocolate. Other people are gross.

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

35 responses to “Mallrats Is Why I’m Still Alive Today

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