Cats: The Vacuums of Tomorrow

I’m creating a new TV Show: Cats Eat the Darndest Things. Think I could get Bill Cosby to host?

I never need to vacuum because Esme will eat just about anything off the floor. Including necklaces that I accidently drop. Luckily, I got this one before she swallowed.

As much as I love her effort to help me clean, I wonder if I’ve taught her this nasty habit.

Esme loves chips. Or as Blogmella (whatever happened to her?) has taught me…Esme loves crisps. In particular Tositos and Pop Chips.

Esme loves crisps as much as I love chocolate and Pop-Tarts. Maybe more. It’s scary.

How did I manage to raise a cat with a taste for salty?

Like this:

  1. I plop down on the couch and eat crisps directly from the bag. (Bowl, schmowl. Bowls are for ice cream. Besides who wants another dish to wash? I’m saving the environment by conserving water.)
  2. Esme’s excitement at hearing the bag crumbling is equivalent to a normal cat’s sensitivity to a can opening. She comes running.
  3. She crawls all over me, trying to stick her head in the bag.
  4. I worry she’s going to spill the salsa sitting next to me.
  5. I move her out of the way.
  6. Forgetting that I just touched the cat, I lick my salty fingers and get an unexpected side order of cat hair. Ewww….

So to avoid hacking up my own hairballs later…I throw the chip onto the ground for Esme to eat.

Now I just need to teach Esme the difference between necklaces and chips.

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

42 responses to “Cats: The Vacuums of Tomorrow

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