So…have I ever told you what I do for a living?
I work for the Special Forces Covert Ops. True story.
Why else would I agree to take the U.S. Army’s Physical Fitness Test? Only because it’s a requirement. I certainly never would volunteer for it.
Obviously….
So…I have something to confess. I volunteered to take the test for fun. Why? Obviously Pop-Tarts affected my reasoning…my sanity.
While my body is free of Pop-Tart toxins, I’ve set my goal of shooting for the bare minimum: 60%. That’s what people who are really in the Army have to do I have to do to avoid being kicked out of the Special Ops.
- 2-Mile Run in 20 minutes and 30 seconds
- Sit Ups: 45 in 2 minutes
- Push Ups: 17 in 2 minutes
Just for fun, I dropped to the floor to do a push up. And that’s exactly what I did. Drop to the floor. And didn’t get back up.
The test is at the end of April. Plenty of time for me to learn to do 17 push ups. Right? Riiiiiiiiight?
Thoughts Appear 
March 3rd, 2011 at 9:12 am
See, I think this is win-win. If you train and pass the Army’s physical fitness test, great! If you train and don’t pass the test, then you’re still in better shape than when you started, so that’s great, too! Well played, thoughtsie. Well played.
March 4th, 2011 at 7:33 am
True…But what if I don’t train?
March 4th, 2011 at 11:25 am
If you don’t train, then you’ve got something to blog about! So, win-win-win!
March 3rd, 2011 at 9:47 am
I can do the sit-ups but not push up’s i just sort of flounder waving my arms around like a turtle that’s stuck on it’s back
March 4th, 2011 at 7:34 am
What a coincidence…that’s what I loo like, too.
March 3rd, 2011 at 9:48 am
I just worked up a sweat reading that. I think I would be ok in the sit up department but the running and push ups..I would fall over.
You go girl! I’m your cheerleader!!!! You can DO-IT!!!!!
Go Thoughts…Go thoughts!!!! I just did a cartwheel and ended in the splits. Can you send someone over to get me back up please.
March 4th, 2011 at 7:35 am
Thanks for cheering! I think you should come train with me. You can hold my feet. I swear they don’t smell too bad.
March 3rd, 2011 at 10:42 am
The run was always the hardest part for me–just to pass I had to run 2 miles in 21 minutes and that is FAST for me! Then they changed it to 1 1/2 miles in 14 minutes and that was even harder. Fortunately, there was a waist circumference score that was 30% of the total and I could ace that sucker–thanks genetics!
Good luck! Start with pushups on your knees and work your way up. If I can do it, seriously ANYONE can do it!
March 4th, 2011 at 7:36 am
I can do a few pushups on my knees, but I feel like I’m not getting any better at them. =(
March 3rd, 2011 at 10:54 am
Does this mean you don’t have to do pull-ups? Those things are impossible.
Best wishes to you, Thoughts!
March 4th, 2011 at 7:37 am
No pull ups! Thank goodness, too, because in school I always just hung on the bar for a bit before giving up.
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:15 pm
Might want to have Kiefer do the “Pop-Tart on a string” trick to keep you moving while you run/sit/push. If you make your goal, you get to eat the Pop-Tart. Win-Win!
March 4th, 2011 at 7:38 am
This just might work.
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Man up! You can blast out 17 push-ups in 30 secs. I know it!
March 4th, 2011 at 7:39 am
I could man up…or I could just cry about it. That seems more likely.
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:19 pm
It could be much worse. The Army is upgrading it’s PT.
http://www.aolhealth.com/2011/03/02/army-adds-taste-of-battlefield-to-fitness-tests/?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl7|sec1_lnk1|204294
March 4th, 2011 at 7:40 am
What they need to do is switch situps to crunches.
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:28 pm
I hope you do. I have always been the kind that loves to show up guys. I did it all through grade school, middle, and high school.
Come girl kick some US Army Fitness Ass!
March 4th, 2011 at 7:42 am
It would be cool to kick some serious butt. But I think I’ll be the only one getting kicked.
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Pauly Shore will show you the way girl. You have plenty of time. Just think back to the cupid shuffle when Kiefer stole your drink. Member? You member! You must protect the drink at all costs. Now drop down and give me 20!
March 4th, 2011 at 7:42 am
That’s right…Kiefer the Sangria Stealer…jerk.
I dropped down…but I’m still working on the 20 part.
March 3rd, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Your visit and comment on my blog led me this way. Bad bad. Now I’ve added yet another blog to my reader list to read every day (or as close to every day as I can) and I’ve been telling myself I need to cut back and spend more time on constructive (read housework related) things. Maybe next week.
March 4th, 2011 at 7:43 am
Thanks for stopping by! Housework, schmousework.
March 3rd, 2011 at 3:42 pm
You are brave! You can totally do the push ups by April. Flossing and fitness goals? You’re an inspiration!!!
March 4th, 2011 at 7:44 am
I only set goals that begin with “F.” Up next…breaking the world’s floating record.
March 3rd, 2011 at 4:13 pm
If I know anything about you, it’s that you’re a goal meeter. Exciting! Watch G.I. Jane a lot. And, yeah, may not hurt to hang with T-dog a little, since she can do so many now. She probably needs a better nickname than that. 😉
March 4th, 2011 at 7:45 am
T-dog scares me now that she can do real pushups. I won’t tell her you called her “T-dog.”
March 3rd, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Listen, Paulie, the sit-ups are gonna be a piece of cake, the run is doable, but the push-ups? I assume we’re talking the real-deal and not on your knees (which is how Chalupa Covert Ops works)? The push-ups are gonna be a bitch.
1 – Get a friend to put a pop tart on the ground
2 – do a push up to get it
3 – the friend slides it just out reach
repeat.
I know you can do this.
March 4th, 2011 at 7:46 am
This is the funniest comment ever! Seriously.
I wish it was on your knees! If it was, I’d be half way there.
March 3rd, 2011 at 8:34 pm
Awesome, sounds like fun! Shoot for 70%! C’s are far better than D’s.
March 4th, 2011 at 7:47 am
I’m beginning to think 40% seems like a more realistic goal.
March 3rd, 2011 at 9:10 pm
Are you trainig to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader – you know that is their physical test? 🙂 No matter if it is for fun or for sporting a pair of white cowboy boots, you go girl!
March 3rd, 2011 at 9:16 pm
Not to use the food metaphors to death but….
you my dear….
are
Toast! 🙂
I hope you prove me wrong! 🙂 I am right there with ya. One push up and I am down for the count! Though I am about 40 years older than you….. 🙂
March 4th, 2011 at 7:47 am
You can do 1 push up? You are a god!
March 3rd, 2011 at 9:20 pm
Erm… Maybe start slowly? And work your way up to… well… ONE pushup, for starters. And when you can do one, maybe add another one every day until BAM 17!
March 4th, 2011 at 7:48 am
I wonder how long it’ll take me to get to one….
March 3rd, 2011 at 11:18 pm
One last thing, my ‘ol man is a former SF guy! so you have entered into a whole new level of respect and hornor to know you!
March 4th, 2011 at 12:00 am
dude.
i can do one push up tops.
a girly one.
jillian michaels is so mad at me.
March 4th, 2011 at 7:49 am
I wish the girly ones counted! I rock at those. Well, not really, but I can do more of those than the real ones.
March 4th, 2011 at 7:43 am
the only pushups I’m familiar with are the orange sherbet ones… mmmm
March 4th, 2011 at 7:50 am
Mmmmm…I wonder if they help with the exercise pushups. I’ll check it out and let you know.
March 4th, 2011 at 10:17 am
Numbers 1 and 2 are doable. Pushups? I can’t do one men’s pushup! So embarrassing in gym class. Even the women’s pushups are hard.
I suggest you find some dumbbells ASAP and start lifting to build your arm strength. But start with a low weight! 3 or 5 lbs. to start. Good luck–you can do this!
March 4th, 2011 at 12:20 pm
I could do the 2 mile run without an issue, but the sit ups and push ups? I’d be pretty much screwed. Good for you! I support you! You can doooo iiiit!
March 7th, 2011 at 8:21 am
Thank you, Rob Schneider!
March 5th, 2011 at 1:28 am
Okay, Private Benjamin. The fact that you are even attempting this makes me a little in awe of you. And, really… 45 situps in 2 minutes? May I live vicariously through your abs of steel?
March 5th, 2011 at 3:44 am
I was gonna say it reminds me of Private Benjamin too…go go go go go…you can do anything you set your mind to. Unless you have a broken leg.
March 5th, 2011 at 9:48 pm
Good luck to you! I’m jealous of your abs already!
March 7th, 2011 at 8:22 am
Abs? I think those are just Pop-Tart pieces jutting out.
March 7th, 2012 at 8:33 am
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