A coworker stopped by work the other day with her 1-month-old baby boy.
Everyone, all together now: “Awwwwww….”
He was so tiny. And his little feet! Oh my god, I love me some baby feet.
Coworker: Do you want to hold him?
Coworker (and maybe you): ::look of confusion::
Me: I mean, I do want to hold him, but it’s safer for everyone if I don’t hold him.
Babies are adorable. I love babies. When they are not stinky. And when they’re not crying.
This particular baby was not stinky and was not crying, so why didn’t I want to hold him?
- He might have started to cry the minute he was handed to me.
- I have no idea how to hand off the baby: receiving or giving.
- I might hold him “wrong.” (I know to support the head, but is that it?)
Obviously, I will be a horrible mother: “I can’t have anything to do with the baby because I’ll do something wrong!”
At the very least, I’ll be outed as a horrible holder of babies. And I prefer to be a closeted horrible holder of babies until I can get some practice.
Anyways, I nodded at the baby and said, “Sup.” Then I watched the baby pass right by me to into the arms of another coworker. And as he settled into her arms, his little hands reached out for the coworker’s boobs.
And what do you say? “Excuse me, but your son is grabbing my boobs.”
Another reason not to hold babies. They have no sense of personal space or good and bad touches.