Oh my god, I have Ebola!
How did I reach this self-diagnosis? Usually I self-diagnose through watching House, but this diagnosis comes from reading Richard Preston’s The Hot Zone.
- Coughing? Check.
- Sniffles? Check.
- Sick to the stomach? Now that I suspect I have Ebola, Check.
- Dark circles under eyes? Check. Or is that mascara?
- Addiction to chocolate? Check.
So I made up the last one.
This isn’t the type of book I normally read, but it’s about an Ebola virus outbreak in the suburbs of Washington, DC.
And it’s a true story.
Really. This isn’t one of those times when I say, “True story” when it’s obviously a big fat lie.
This was my thought process:
Heeeeey…I live in the suburbs of DC. I visit all of the locations in the book…all the time…almost every day.
Oh…my…god…I could get Ebola.
Know what Ebola does to you? It makes you a zombie, and it turns your insides to jello slush.
His face lost all appearance of life and set itself into an expressionless mask…The eyeballs…seemed almost frozen in their sockets, and they turned bright red.
Then it kills you. Only you don’t come back as a zombie. So uncool.