An envelope came yesterday from the State Comptroller. My first thought was, “Crap! Do I owe taxes already?”
Then I saw the words “State Lottery.”
Now (::tapping fingertips together::) what to do with my winnings…
- Get a penguin. And his name shall be “Pete the 2nd.” (You can call him Repete—thanks, Hipster.)
- Hire someone to train Pete the 2nd to be a butler.
- Build my dream house: The My Little Pony Dream Castle.
- Save money so I never have to work again. (That might mean sacrificing or downsizing the Dream Castle.)
- Cruise the Mediterrenean.
- Buy everyone in the world in a box of Pop-Tarts. (Maybe just family, friends, and fellow bloggers. Please comment with your flavor requests.)
My dreams have finally come true. All of the wishing on stars and at 11:11 every day has finally paid off.
No more dropping to my knees, arms outstretched to the sky, screaming, “When, Lord? When’s gonna be my time?”
Let me pause to give thanks where thanks is due.
- Thank you, Karma. (I’m pretty sure I won the lottery because I paid for a stranger’s coffee at Starbucks.)
- Thank you, Mom, for holding me in an extra week while you were pregnant. (I played my birthday as lottery numbers.)
- Thank you, Kiefer’s mom, for the same reason as above.
- And last but not least, thank you, Jiminy Cricket. (I always said you were real.)
How much did I win? Let’s open the envelope and find out, shall we?