Did I tell you Kiefer was in Africa a couple weeks ago? That’s right, I did because we talked about him while he was gone.
In addition to talking on the phone and texting, he also sent me these lovely post cards.
During my travels, I found you a new pet. I know you’ve always wanted a monkey. I think the baboon sitting on the sign proves the sign wrong, but even if they are dangerous, I know you can handle it.
One chased our car while flashing his sharp pearly whites. Excellent dental hygiene. I think he’s the monkey for you. He’ll serve as an example of what your teeth could look like if you flossed more like your 30 Before 30 List says.
I missed you today. But not for very long. I went down to the beach for a swim and found comfort in the arms of this scrunchie-wearing beauty. I gave her the baboon I got for you. Hope you don’t mind.
PS: I was just kidding about the new girlfriend. I know you’d kick my butt and then send your blogger friends to finish the job. We’re still good, right?
Some of My Favorite While-Kiefer-Sutherland-Is-in-Africa posts:
Making Taylor Lautner My Cabana Boy: She’s Got the Crazy Eyes
Ignoring Kiefer’s Plants: If Plants Attack Stay Away From Me
Eating Pastries in Paris: Kiefer Gets Tear Gassed