I did it again. I outted myself to Kiefer. When will I learn I don’t have to share every single thought that crosses my mind? Especially the tricky ones I can use to my advantage insightful ones.
On our recent roadtrip to North Carolina, I outted myself twice.
Kiefer is not a morning person (I am). To help cope with his unmorningpersonness, Kiefer drinks coffee (I don’t). Usually he drinks some in the mornings, and sometimes he has a 3’o’clock latte (his coffee schedule is similar to my chocolate schedule).
Sometimes Kiefer does ok without coffee (I, however, never do ok without chocolate). Sometimes I do ok when Kiefer doesn’t have coffee. An hour or so into a 5-hour road trip with two children is not one of those times.
Kiefer: We need to find a Starbucks. ::growling:: Now.
Me: Yeah, we do.
Me: I said, “Let me use your VZ Navigator to find one, love.”
Kiefer: Oh, ok. Thanks.
Then Starbucks began to work against Kiefer. First the toffee bars, and now this. Jerks.
VZ Navigator tried to make us turn around to find the closest coffee shop.
The next Starbucks was in a Target and not open yet.
The next Starbucks was in a grocery store. Apparently Virginia’s Starbuckses (plural?) cannot stand alone. Luckily, it opened right as we pulled up.
Kiefer: It’s open!
Kiefer: What did you say?
Me: Phew. I mean…yeah…it’s too early for deception. I said, “Phew.”
Me: Oh my god!
Me: You just gave me the double pat!
Kiefer: The double pat?
Me: Yes! The double pat! When you pat someone twice like that on the leg, it means “You’re a dork, but I still love you.” I do it to you all the time. Oh…oops.