Double Pat = Dork

I did it again. I outted myself to Kiefer. When will I learn I don’t have to share every single thought that crosses my mind? Especially the tricky ones I can use to my advantage insightful ones.

On our recent roadtrip to North Carolina, I outted myself twice.

Outtage #1

Kiefer is not a morning person (I am). To help cope with his unmorningpersonness, Kiefer drinks coffee (I don’t). Usually he drinks some in the mornings, and sometimes he has a 3’o’clock latte (his coffee schedule is similar to my chocolate schedule).

Sometimes Kiefer does ok without coffee (I, however, never do ok without chocolate). Sometimes I do ok when Kiefer doesn’t have coffee. An hour or so into a 5-hour road trip with two children is not one of those times.

Kiefer: We need to find a Starbucks. ::growling:: Now.

Me: Yeah, we do.

Kiefer: What?

Me: I said, “Let me use your VZ Navigator to find one, love.”

Kiefer: Oh, ok. Thanks.

Then Starbucks began to work against Kiefer. First the toffee bars, and now this. Jerks.

  • VZ Navigator tried to make us turn around to find the closest coffee shop.
  • The next Starbucks was in a Target and not open yet.
  • The next Starbucks was in a grocery store. Apparently Virginia’s Starbuckses (plural?) cannot stand alone. Luckily, it opened right as we pulled up.

Kiefer: It’s open!

Me: Phew.

Kiefer: What did you say?

Me: Phew. I mean…yeah…it’s too early for deception. I said, “Phew.”

 Outtage #2

Me: Oh my god!

Kiefer: What?

Me: You just gave me the double pat!

Kiefer: The double pat?

Me: Yes! The double pat! When you pat someone twice like that on the leg, it means “You’re a dork, but I still love you.” I do it to you all the time. Oh…oops.

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

23 responses to “Double Pat = Dork

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