Breaking up. We’ve all been there. Breaks up are rough.
But not to worry! The Sweet Potato Queens have some advice for you.
- I don’t care who he is. When you git ‘im home, they’s somethin’ bad wrong with ‘im.
- Men taste just like chicken.
- They’re making men every day. Get another one.
While you’re out there searching for another one, the Queens recommend following two rules: the 4-Hour Rule and the 24-Hour Rule.
The 4-Hour Rule: Before you make him the happiest man on earth (code for have s-e-x), he must spend at least 4 hours complimenting you.
The 24-Hour Rule: Within 24 hours of making him the happiest man on earth, he must repeat all of the previous compliments plus 15 minutes of new compliments.
Next up from the Sweet Potato Queens…The Five Men You Must Have in Your Life at All Times.
Thoughts Appear 
October 7th, 2010 at 8:08 am
Are you sure that they meant ‘have sex’ for making him the happiest man in the world? Because for me it would involve a morphine drip, a new season of The Wire or Lost and a homemade Phili cheesesteak hoagie. And I guess that yea, sex would occur at some point that night.
October 11th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
Are you saying women can bribe guys with DVDs and cheesesteaks instead of sex?
Good to know on those days I’m feeling fat.
October 7th, 2010 at 8:36 am
I agree with Scott, to make my husband the happiest man in the world would involve meaty food, and the entire series of OZ played back to back to back and a baby black bear to play with. Sex would just be the cherry on the cupcake of the day!
October 11th, 2010 at 12:33 pm
A baby black bear? Please explain.
October 11th, 2010 at 2:21 pm
My husband is always threatening to steal baby animals from the wild and bring them home for us to love. Black bears are always a favorite of his. Now he wants to steal some baby lambs from a farm up the road. He’s turns into a puddle of goo when around baby mammals (non-human). Kinda fun to see, since he’s over 6 foot, 250 lbs, shaved head and has multiple tattoos.
October 12th, 2010 at 8:39 am
When I lived with my parents, a black bear wandered around our house trying to get into our trash and garage. I should post a pic of it for you and your husband.
October 12th, 2010 at 9:11 am
Aw, that would be sweet!
I got pics of black bear cubs on my phone right now that he texted me last week when he went to the local zoo with some friends. He’s such a big softie!
October 7th, 2010 at 10:03 am
Or… one could have a George Constanza moment and try to have all the above… at the same time. ;p
October 11th, 2010 at 12:34 pm
All of the above? That’s a lot of effort.
October 7th, 2010 at 2:51 pm
LOL ohh these are just great. The thing is, I’m just crazy enough to try it.
-Gizzy
October 7th, 2010 at 4:38 pm
Hilarious.
October 7th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
I *thought* the five men were in the first book, too!
October 7th, 2010 at 8:04 pm
Love these 🙂 Now, I’m wondering if I’ve been complimented enough for my current guy… is there any going back? As in, I won’t have sex with you any more until you compliment me for your remaining 3 hours?
http://simplysolo.wordpress.com
October 11th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
I’m wondering if a guy doing certain things could lessen the time.
Like if a guy gave me a good back rub in place of compliments, I’m totally ok with that.
October 8th, 2010 at 9:45 am
Wait…are the four hours cumulative? Or must they be in one solid four hour block?
October 11th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
I think cumulative. I love me, but I don’t want to hear about how awesome I am for 4-hours straight. Cuts into my hot chocolate time.