Falling Off the Book-Wagon-Mobile

You know how I’m supposed to be checking books out of the library instead of buying books at Borders?

Yeaaaaaah. I have a confession to make: I bought two books at Borders.

Here’s my list of why it was ok to buy these books:

  1. Princess made me do it. Seriously. She pulled the longest sword I’ve ever seen out of her purse, and said, “TA, if you don’t buy a flippin’ book, I’ll use this sword to run you through.”
  2. The books were on sale. Buy one, get one free. I got 2 books for $6.35. Anything under $7 doesn’t count. And no, I didn’t just make that rule up.
  3. Since I wasn’t buying a cocoa trio, I had to buy something.
  4. One of the books was a birthday present for Kiefer. Long Way Down is a book about Ewan Gregor and his buddy driving their motorcycles to the tip of Africa.
  5. The other book is Texts from Last Night. Hours of fun. Hours.

Here’s a few from Maryland for your enjoyment:

  • I like the one of me, you, and her, but you’re looking at me. Total foreshadowing right there. I’m cropping it.
  • Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They’re singing Bad Romance off-key, and I’m not sure if I can allow that.
  • Dude, it’s Memorial Day. Not getting wasted = You’re a terrorist.
  • Well that wasn’t the exboyfriend I expected to hook up with today.

A few other favorites:

  • Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
  • I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
  • This guy just walked into class, and the first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk, and say, “Just in case.”
  • I decided to have standards now that I’ve graduated. No guys without a bedframe. 

*I cleaned these up. Too many text abbreviations and bad grammar annoys me.

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

20 responses to “Falling Off the Book-Wagon-Mobile

Leave a Reply...or a Pop-Tart.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: