Do You Want Coffee or Necking?

Listen up, coffee drinkers, because I’m going to edu-ma-cate you in American Sign Language. (Remember I’m taking a class, so that makes me all knowing in this department.)

This is the sign for coffee. Stack your fists on top of each other and then move only the top one in a circular motion  (like a coffee grinder). I repeat: Move only the top fist.

ASL Fun Fact #2: If you move both fists, it means “necking.”

You no longer have to worry about walking into your local Starbucks thinking you’re asking for coffee and then getting slapped with a sexual harassment charge. I know that was your greatest fear.

Next up…you’re on your way to Starbucks for morning coffee. (We’re sticking with the Starbucks theme.)Two people are signing, and they’re blocking your way to the baked goods. Where are the toffee bars? Blueberry scones? Very Berry coffee cake?

If two people are signing to each other and you need to get by them, you should do which of the following?

A. Walk through the middle of their conversation, slightly bent down, at a normal speed.

B. Wait for a breaking point in the conversation.

C. Tap them on the shoulder, say “Excuse me,” and ask them to move.

D. Lean over as much as possible so their hands aren’t blocked when you quickly cross through.

The correct answer is A. In the Deaf community, it is entirely acceptable to walk right through the middle of a conversation.  If you tap them on the shoulder, they’ll think you want to talk to them.

*Dear Starbucks, I heard a rumor that you are no longer making your yummy toffee bars. That disturbs me greatly. You see, I don’t drink coffee, but I do visit your fine establishment for very berry coffee cake and toffee bars.

By removing the toffee bars, you are losing 50% of my business. 5-0-%. That’s a pretty significant percentage. Please remedy the situation as soon as possible. Thank you for your attention in this matter.

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

16 responses to “Do You Want Coffee or Necking?

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