I did IT. One thing I thought I would never cross off my 30 Before 30 List. No, not the mechnical bull.
Remember how I wouldn’t go camping because of the camping monster? Well…I went camping, and I’m still alive to tell the tale.
Barely alive. I narrowly escaped death several times.
Setting Up the Tent
- A spider was crawling on the tent. Its fangs were razor sharp. I swear it was poisonous.
- When Kiefer was putting the poles through the tent, he nearly impaled me. True story.
The Party Inbetween Set Up and Sleep
- My marshmallow caught on fire, and I ran around screaming like a banshee waving a fiery stick.
- Kiefer and I looked up at the clear sky, admiring the stars. I leaned back so far that my chair nearly fell over. Nearly. I’m graceful like that.
Sleeping in the Tent
- Sleep? What sleep? Someone was snoring. I’m now deaf in one ear. Eh? And Canadian.
- Someone (::cough, Kiefer, cough::) forgot the air mattress. My back is permanently damaged.
- We were on a slight hill, so I kept rolling on top of Kiefer. We nearly rolled off the hill’s cliff and tangled ourselves in the thorns below.
- I roll around a lot when I sleep (even when there’s not a hill), so the sleeping bag tried to strangle me. And the zipper tried to gnaw off my leg.
The Next Morning
- Due to sleep deprivation (from the snoring), upon exiting the tent, I tripped and nearly poked my eye out on a stake.
- The bathroom was so far away that I almost lost bladder control and peed myself. Then I would have definitely died…of embarrassment.