Old People Piss Me Off

I guess I should say that one old person in particular pisses me off: My new neighbor.

Blarney and I live downtown, and there’s not always parking available in front of our house. Luckily, an alley runs behind our house, and there is space to park out back.

When I got home from work, I started up the path with my arms full of random things that I’d brought over from my old apartment. My neighbor is sitting outside smoking a cigarette…just waiting for me.

Me: Hello.

Neighbor: Could you park your car over a little farther? (Greeting, schmeeting.)

Me: Excuse me? (I look behind me to make sure I’m not in her parking area. I’m not.)

Neigbor: The guy couldn’t pull his van in the other day because it wouldn’t fit.

Me: Well, I think there’s plenty of room for him today. Does it look like that to you? I don’t want to move too far over because Blarney might want to park there.

Neighbor: She always parks out front. (Nice to know you’re paying attention to our parking habits.)

Me: Sometimes there’s not parking out front.

Neighbor: The 3 girls who lived there before parked all three of their cars out back.

Me: I’m going to have to call bullshit on you there. Three cars plus the van half in our space? I doubt it. (So I didn’t really say this, but I should have. There is no way 3 cars would fit out back.)

At this point, I’m annoyed and my arms hurt from holding all the stuff I’m carrying, so I say goodbye and start to go inside.

Neighbor: I wasn’t trying to be smart or anything.

Me: Obviously not. You’re just telling me I can’t park in my own parking spot. That’s stupid. (I didn’t say this either.)

What we have here is a failure to communicate. The neighbor tried to tell Blarney and I where to park. And I tried to tell her to suck it.

But that’s ok. We’ll figure out what she owes in rent for that area.


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

17 responses to “Old People Piss Me Off

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