I guess I should say that one old person in particular pisses me off: My new neighbor.
Blarney and I live downtown, and there’s not always parking available in front of our house. Luckily, an alley runs behind our house, and there is space to park out back.
When I got home from work, I started up the path with my arms full of random things that I’d brought over from my old apartment. My neighbor is sitting outside smoking a cigarette…just waiting for me.
Neighbor: Could you park your car over a little farther? (Greeting, schmeeting.)
Me: Excuse me? (I look behind me to make sure I’m not in her parking area. I’m not.)
Neigbor: The guy couldn’t pull his van in the other day because it wouldn’t fit.
Me: Well, I think there’s plenty of room for him today. Does it look like that to you? I don’t want to move too far over because Blarney might want to park there.
Neighbor: She always parks out front. (Nice to know you’re paying attention to our parking habits.)
Me: Sometimes there’s not parking out front.
Neighbor: The 3 girls who lived there before parked all three of their cars out back.
Me: I’m going to have to call bullshit on you there. Three cars plus the van half in our space? I doubt it. (So I didn’t really say this, but I should have. There is no way 3 cars would fit out back.)
At this point, I’m annoyed and my arms hurt from holding all the stuff I’m carrying, so I say goodbye and start to go inside.
Neighbor: I wasn’t trying to be smart or anything.
Me: Obviously not. You’re just telling me I can’t park in my own parking spot. That’s stupid. (I didn’t say this either.)
What we have here is a failure to communicate. The neighbor tried to tell Blarney and I where to park. And I tried to tell her to suck it.
But that’s ok. We’ll figure out what she owes in rent for that area.