Cross Your Legs During Unrated Movies

Decisions, decisions. I always have a decision to make. And it’s annoying. Especially since I’m an indecisive person.

  • What cereal to eat for breakfast: Maple and Brown Sugar or Cinnamon Streusel Frosted Mini-Wheats?
  • What exercise DVD should I do today? Yoga Booty Ballet Hip-Hop Abs  or Crunch Cardio Salsa?

Decisions. All flippin’ day. You can imagine my frustration when I popped in my new Netflix movie of Role Models, and the DVD asked me if I wanted to watch the Unrated version or the Theatrical version.

OMG! Not another decision! OMG! That's where babies come from?!

Et tu, Brute Netflix?

The last time I made this decision I truly regretted it: unrated version of Knocked Up. Ladies, if you’ve never had children, do not watch this movie.

Just for a second they show what Jay Baruchel sees when Katherine Heigel is ready to give birth. One second. That one second scarred me for life.

Well, maybe not for life, but definitely for one day.

I decided I was never having children. Never ever.

I did that thing that guys do when they see another guy get hit in the crouch. They say, “Oh!” and they cross their legs in sympathy.

I spent an hour squirming on the couch while keeping my legs crossed to keep the imaginary baby inside and vowing to adopt.

So not wanting to spend the evening in the fetal position on the couch, I decided to watch the Theatrical Version.

And then I proceeded to click “Unrated Version.”

I happy to report that this unrated version was safe. I was safe. This time.


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

33 responses to “Cross Your Legs During Unrated Movies

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