Dear Wisconsin State Fair,
I recently read this quote by one of your vendors:
“It’s a doughnut with chocolate-covered bacon and a cheeseburger put together. How could you go wrong?”
I’d like to counter with this: How could you possibly go right?
Let’s analyze the main course.
-
I like cheeseburgers.
-
I love Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
-
I do NOT like cheeseburgers squashed between Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
I like lettuce, ketchup, and a little mayo on my burgers. Maybe sesame seeds on the bun. Are there sesame seeds on your doughnut or are there rainbow sprinkles?
I’ve never walked into Krispy Kreme, pressed my nose against the glass while smearing drool and fingerprints on the glass, and then said:
“Hmmm…I’m not really feeling the jelly- and custard-filled doughnuts today. Don’t you have something with red meat on the inside? I’d like that medium rare. And extra pickles, please.”
Now let’s look at your side.
- With my cheeseburger, I like fries. (Or a healthy salad to balance the burger.)
- You know what I sometimes like love on my doughnuts? Chocolate icing.
- In the bullets above did I list chocolate-covered bacon on a stick as a side? No.
I think you just ruined the chocolate. And to me, ruining chocolate is like spilling beer. Shame on you.
I love State Fair food. I love the deep-fried Oreos, the Sno-Cones, the ice cream, and the cotton candy. What I don’t do is dip my onion rings in the powdered sugar from my funnel cake because I can’t find any ketchup.
If you want salty and sweet, may I suggest a chocolate-covered pretzel or a candy apple covered in peanuts?
Sincerely,
Thoughts Appear
PS: I award you one point for creativity.
PPS: It seems only fair to mention that I’m a picky eater as you can see here, here, and here.
August 18th, 2010 at 8:31 am
“I like cheeseburgers.
I love Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
I do NOT like cheeseburgers squashed between Krispy Kreme doughnuts.”
Here in Canada (Or at least in Ottawa) we don’t have Krispy Kreme donuts (although they are sold in select gas stations in little packages), so I’ve never had their particular brand of donut, but I agree with your statement. Donuts+cheeseburger=GROSS!
I’m sure this “meal” was featured on “Thisiswhyyourefat.com” before it was shut down.
August 18th, 2010 at 10:01 am
At least people in the article that said they actually liked the sandwich said they would only eat it once a year at the fair.
August 18th, 2010 at 9:16 am
… it ain’t so!
Who would order that? Honest to God! They’re really running out of ideas or something. I thought it was quite clever when they put together things like Chili & Chocolate.. but this is just plain wrong.
how. HOW! HOWWW could you eat that. (and not die of a heart attack afterwards).
*Shudders*
August 18th, 2010 at 10:02 am
Just because it’s round doesn’t mean it’s a roll.
August 18th, 2010 at 9:22 am
I saw that online yesterday! So disgusting. I’m with you. I love cheeseburgers and I love Krispy Kreme. I love chocolate and I love bacon. But really? Does that mean we should smash it all together and call it lunch?! Yuck!
August 18th, 2010 at 10:03 am
Some things just shouldn’t be combined. They’re tasty the way they are.
August 18th, 2010 at 9:52 am
Four things I would die for… [bacon, cheese, donuts and chocolate] But it all together. JUST WRONG!!!!!
August 18th, 2010 at 10:08 am
I don’t like bacon. Shhhhh… Wait! I like Canadian bacon. Does that count?
August 18th, 2010 at 10:06 am
Invented by mountain climbers no doubt.
Q. Why would you ever eat something like that?
A. Because it’s there.
August 18th, 2010 at 10:40 am
So true. There are definitely things that I just have to try. However, this isn’t one of them.
August 18th, 2010 at 10:38 am
That. Is. Repulsive.
August 19th, 2010 at 6:56 am
I’m glad it’s not just me that thinks that doesn’t sound very tasty.
August 18th, 2010 at 10:56 am
It looks deliciously disgusting. Paula Deen made something along these once and I had that same feeling of revulsion and slight interest. I don’t think I could actually eat it though.
August 19th, 2010 at 6:57 am
I could see myself just eating the doughnut…if the burger juice hadn’t seeped in.
August 18th, 2010 at 11:26 am
[…] Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger…Say It Ain't So « Thoughts Appear's Blog If you want salty and sweet, may I suggest a chocolate-covered pretzel or a candy apple covered in peanuts? Sincerely, Thoughts Appear. PS: I award you one point for creativity. PPS: It seems only fair to mention that I'm a picky eater . […]
August 18th, 2010 at 11:54 am
I just saw this on PerezHilton.com. I’m actually from WI (now living in SF) and yes we have some wild things and while I don’t think this sounds appealing, I don’t get the hype. People are freaking out like this is a heart attack waiting to happen because it’s 1000 calories. But when you go any resaturant and order a salad as a your main meal (think Cheesecake Factory), you’re closer to 1400 and just think you’re healthy!
August 19th, 2010 at 6:58 am
When I first saw it, I didn’t even think about calories…probably because of the massive amounts of dessert I consume.
August 18th, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Who would do that to a delicious Krispy Kreme?! And haven’t they ever heard that you don’t mess with perfection?!
Sigh… and we wonder why America is so fat…
August 19th, 2010 at 6:59 am
I think they messed up the Krispy Kreme, too.
August 18th, 2010 at 2:34 pm
That’s all kinds of wrong!
I tried a deep fried Twinkie once, just for this EXACT day…so that I could say “I ate a deep fried Twinkie” in my opinion, it improved the Twinkie.
Deep fried Oreos…O. M. G!! Now I know why I avoid fairs. That sounds amazingly good.
I’m not a picky eater, but I’ll take my hamburgers and donuts…apart.
August 19th, 2010 at 7:03 am
Deep fried Twinkie….mmmmm.
I’m glad fairs only come once a year. Except that they serve deep fried Twinkies and Oreos at the beach, too. So I eat them twice a year.
August 18th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
That’s about as warped as the Jalapeno Ice Cream they sell at the State Fair down here. I love Jalapenos and Ice Cream ….but not together!
August 19th, 2010 at 7:04 am
Definitely an odd combination. One of the ice cream shops at a nearby beach has bacon ice cream.
August 18th, 2010 at 8:38 pm
This looks incredible. I’d like to try it just to see… I can’t imagine the taste of it! But your state fair sounds so fun!!!! Wish I could go to one of ours!!!
August 19th, 2010 at 7:05 am
It is a little unfair of me to knock this without having tried it.
August 19th, 2010 at 10:28 am
Maybe it could use some bacon?
August 19th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
yeah that’s gross. i’ve not tried deep-fried oreos but i have tried deep-fried snickers. THOSE ARE HEAVENLY!
August 20th, 2010 at 6:43 am
I need to try one of those. I love Snickers bars.
August 21st, 2010 at 10:27 am
I actually barfed in my mouth when I read this. Now seeing the picture? I just crapped my pants, too.
August 23rd, 2010 at 6:16 am
You sound like Happy Bunny. That’s a compliment.
August 21st, 2010 at 6:17 pm
“How could you possibly go right?” Nice to meet you! You gave a good laugh with this one. Thanks! FL
August 23rd, 2010 at 6:16 am
Thank you!
August 27th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
I saw this on the news last week and did my own post about it. I could never imagine even wanting to try eating it.