Dear Minnesota Twins Fan at the Orioles Game on Saturday,
When a baseball bounces off a child’s head, which causes you to catch the baseball, you promptly hand it over to the injured child. You don’t keep it for yourself.
When the crowd starts chanting “Give him the ball,” they’re referring to you and how you should give the kid the baseball. Don’t act like you don’t know.
Smart move leaving the game early. You probably narrowly avoided a curb stomping.
Why couldn’t you have been more like the 2 Twins fans who dressed up like Oompa Loompas or the 2 Twins fans who dressed up as Will Ferrell in Semi-Pro. They were awesome. Be more like them.
Not Even Slightly Sincerely,
PS: You ruined my tasty funnel cake with your selfish display. Not only do you owe that kid the baseball, you also owe me a funnel cake. Extra powdered sugar.