Chapter 5: The Language of Love and the Dragon

Chapter 5 in the Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus series. The Language Chapter.

Women say, “We never go out.” Men respond with, “We went out last week.”

Men, don’t get defensive. When women say that, they really mean, “I want to go out with you because we have fun together. And I love you.”

The Cave…Again

Men have their own language. When they say, “It’s no big deal. It’s not a problem,” it is a huge deal and a problem.

After uttering these words, men retreat to the cave because they are upset and have a problem to solve.

Women, just like you don’t abandon a friend in need, you’ll want to help your man and follow him into the cave to talk.

“Abandon hope all ye who enter here.”

Do not go into the cave! Your man wants to figure out his problem all by himself. So abandon him.

Lack of Language

Scenario: Woman speaks. Man remains silent. Woman talks more. Man still remains silent.

Guess what? Men are silent because they are processing. As much as you want to, the solution is not to tell them to “Process faster!”

Men need it all figured out before they speak. Unlike me. I prefer to talk, think I’m all done, and then the next day say, “I forgot to mention….”

Lucky over at Cocktails at Tiffany’s commented that she felt a lot of this book was just creating excuses for men being a-holes. At first, I didn’t see it. Now I do. Take this line for example:

“Women have a lot to learn about men….”

Excuse me? You should have followed that line up with and “Men have equally as much (if not more) to learn about women.” Where’s that line in the book? Jerk….

Now I’m annoyed. Stupid book. Stupid men.

Lessons Learned

I’ll keep this short due to my annoyed, jaded, and biased state of mind.

Men: Stop being a-holes.

Women: Apparently the magic words in any conversation you have with a man are “It’s not your fault.” I’d like to add on to that phrase though: “It’s not your fault you’re an a-hole.”


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

12 responses to “Chapter 5: The Language of Love and the Dragon

  • Abby

    Yeah, that line annoys me! What about what men have to learn about women?

  • Amy

    “It’s not your fault you’re an a-hole.” Classic! Too funny.
    This book was written by a man, so of course it’s going to be man-centric. What one thing do women really need to learn about men? It’s all about THEM. They can’t help it. They are the center of their own universe.
    Eagerly awaiting chapter 6 . . .

  • Pauline

    That chapter seems like it is encouraging women to be overly accommodating to men and let them walk all over them, which is not good. Yes, in general, men are less verbal than women but communication is key to a healthy relationship.

  • welcome to the middle of life

    I had the same thought when I read that book years ago about the accommodation factor. It’s like this; Okay, the man wants to go into his cave. Great. We ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW. Got it. But how about the man recognizes he is going into his cave and JUST DOESN’T GO???? And instead accommodates us by sitting and talking? Hello? I never understood that aspect of the book.
    “It’s not your fault you’re an A-hole” pretty much works. And it’s true! 🙂

    I like these Cliff Notes posts of yours.

  • blogmella

    Dave has to “process his thoughts” pretty damn quickly with me, or I get bored with the subject and just move on. If he starts referring to an argument we had yesterday, chances are I will have forgotten what it was about – and he looks like an idiot, having to repeat everything thst was said etc.

    Men are too much bother. The best way to handle them is to not give a sh*t. They love the challenge.

  • RubyTwoShoes

    I can’t wait to hear about that initial meeting with the ex, not cuz she was mean, but cuz I love a good gossip!

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