Chapter 3 of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is all about how men and women deal with stress. Here’s the one-sentence summary: Women like to talk about their problems while men don’t.
Duh. I’m so happy this is a library book, and I didn’t pay for it.
Actually I did learn some useful tidbits.
As a woman, I love to talk about my problems. Hence, the blog.
I blog not necessarily for advice, but because I want someone to listen. I want someone to respond with “Me, too!” I like knowing I’m not the only person feeling a certain way.
And that makes me a woman! Using the Chapter 3, I’ve compiled a Stressed Woman Checklist. Whenever I’m upset, I can look at it and see that I’m perfectly normal and behaving like all women. Phew.
- It’s impossible to be upset about just one thing: “If she is upset, then she is upset about it all, big and small.” This is so unbelievably true. If I’m going to cry, I might as well get upset about 50 things instead of just one. And why just talk about present problems when I can talk about past and potential future problems as well?
- She often doesn’t want explanations; she just wants understanding. Don’t tell me WHY you didn’t put the toilet seat down. Please just listen and understand that I’m upset that you didn’t put the toilet seat down because last night I got a wet bum…fanny…butt.
- She feels better after sharing feelings with someone she trusts. I’m talking to you because I love you.
Here’s the I’m a Stressed Man Checklist.
- He can’t be in a relationship and have a problem at the same time. Men are horrible multitaskers.
- He retreats to the “cave” to solve or forget about his problem. Men like to solve problems on their own, so they need me-time in the “cave.”
Solutions to Stressful Situations
Women, men don’t like long stories. If you’re a babbler (and oh, am I a babbler), tell the man the outcome of your story first, and then go back in ramble about the details.
Also, try to prioritize problems and have some semblance of logical thought.
Last week you were late coming home, this morning you left toothpaste all over the sink, and why don’t you care about me enough to call on your lunch break?!
Focus, women, focus.
Men think women talk to men about problems because women hold the men responsible. Men, remember that it’s not always about you. Don’t always take it personally. Women just like to talk. A lot.
And when we pester you while you’re in the “cave,” it’s because we want to help. We may not even realize you’re in the cave since every man’s cave is different. Maybe stick a post-it on your forehead thats says, “CAVE” so we know to leave you alone.
Women: Men like to withdraw. Leave them alone. Go shopping instead.
Men: Listen. Understand. Offer condolences. And hug.* (I added the hug part.)