The Great Kitty Escape of 2010

4:22 AM: Kiefer leaves my apartment to get ready for work, and I return to bed.

4:31 AM: My cat, Esme, lays down next to me and nudges my neck because she’s hungry. I refuse to get up.

4:35 AM: Esme bites and claws at my head. I scream, “NOOOO!” and push her away. Esme thinks I’m playing, so her attack continues.

4:39 AM: Fine! With no evidence of an the attack’s end in sight, I get dressed in a sports bra and shorts for morning Yoga-Pilates. Esme does the crazy run-around-the-apartment-at-light-speed thing.

4:47 AM: Esme jumps into the window sill behind the curtain. I think I’ll get you, my pretty, as I creep up to the window.

4:48:02 AM: As I pull back the curtain, Esme’s defense backfires, and she (ever so gracefully) falls backwards out the window while pushing out the screen. With my cat-like reflexes, I try to catch Esme as she falls out the window. I end up juggling her and then squashing her against the outside wall.

4:48:11 AM: Safely on the ground (luckily I’m on the ground floor), Esme stares up at me accusingly: You. You did this to me! Esme turns and runs away, leaving me hanging out of my window.

4:48:14 AM: Panic ensues. My all black cat is loose, and it’s dark outside. I’ll never find her. Running towards the door, I ponder putting on shoes, or maybe a shirt. There’s no time!

4:48:18 AM: I grab her treats so I can lure her back. Or at least leave the treats all over the sidewalk like Reeses Pieces ET-style so she (and every other cat in the neighborhood) can follow them back home.

4:49 AM: Once outside, I find my cat about 7 feet from the window dazed and confused and sniffing a bush. I walk right up to her and snatch her up. She relaxes and curls up in my arms. (My cat is not a hold-me cat.) I inspect her to make sure I indeed grabbed my cat.

4:50 AM: I decide to put the unstruggling cat down to see if she’s hurt. Esme starts pawing at the treats. Obviously, she’s fine.

4:58 AM: I go back outside. I look at the screen and then look at the window. I go back inside.

4:59 AM: I call Kiefer to help me fix the window.


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

13 responses to “The Great Kitty Escape of 2010

  • Aly

    Oh man, I would’ve freaked out – I love the look of pure disdain cats give you when something they’ve done is ACTUALLY your fault. Boo hiss kitty, boo hiss! Oscar is indoors only and I am terrified he’s going to escape one day, jump off our balcony and never know how to find his way back up to us.

    I’m glad she (and you) are ok – sorry bout the window!

  • unabridgedgirl

    Hahahha. My puppy does the running around at light speed thing, too. He is so funny. I love animals!

  • the old coworker

    Ok Manthers had an outdoors alone experience. About 15 years ago, and she’s 17 now. We were living in an apartment with two cats, illegally. One night after the boyfriends left, I went to go to bed and didn’t notice my cat around. I figured she was in the roommate’s room and went to bed.
    The next morning, I am up first and the other cat is anxiously awaiting the gourmet canned cat food heated up in the microwave. Yes, Manthers still expects it this way too. My cat is nowhere in sight. I feed the other cat, search the house and determine she’s gone.
    I tell my roommate, she immediately thinks she’s been run over by a car. So positive.
    We go outside, heading opposite directions. Now Manthers wasn’t much of a meowker in her early years. I called her name, “Mantheroo, where are you”. After calling once or twice, she responds, “MEOWRROOOO”. This continues, with me calling and her answering. I run upstairs to the neighboring building. I call, she responds, not there. Back and forth, frantically, I finally find her huddled against a sliding glass door of a basement apartment. We live on the third floor. I am sobbing, clutching her and she’s just quiet as can be. I take her in, feed her, and she never escapes again.

    Bel glad you didn’t have that experience… it’s frightening.

    Appreciate the kitty and the 4:30AM bites… it’s just her saying you’re the best and she is the queen.

  • blogmella

    In the UK it is more usual for a cat to be allowed out. Both of my boys are fixed and have had all their shots – so they go out and do whatever they like. The cat down the road comes and calls for Stouffer! He stands outside and miaows until Stouffer jumps up at the door to go out. I’m sure there are dangers in this but they seem so happy sunning themselves in the garden and chasing squirrels, I wouldn’t want to keep them in.

    Mind you, we don’t have rabies here, or coyotes. We do have urban foxes but apparently cats get the upper hand with those.

  • badkidsgoodgrammar

    There is nothing worse than an indoor cat being out of doors and out of control!! I’m so worried because tomorrow I’m taking my kittie on an airplane and then for a three hour car ride to our new home….HELP!!!

    • the old coworker

      Put a collar on the cat with a bell. Mine loved it and felt so proud of her new fashion statement. They do have egos. Plus if they escape, you can hear where they are.

    • thoughtsappear

      I hope your kitty does ok on the plane! I’m happy that you’ll be in your new place. I saw your moving post. I hope moving in goes better!

  • The Idiot Speaketh

    Further evidence that along with Facebook, cats are the root of all evil….. My two idiot cats laughed their butts off reading this post!….

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