David Zinczenko has once again ruined my day with his Best and Worst BBQ Foods.
First Doritos, and now this. Dave, Why do you hate me? I don’t know how many more food beatings I can take before I lose my will to eat entirely.
What happened to all of the posts that only mentioned foods that I never eat? He’s out to get me. I’m sure of it.
Eat This! Tortilla Chips and Guacamole
Not That! Corn on the Cob with Butter
Excuuuuuuse me? Don’t eat corn on the cob? But-but… it’s corn on the cob season. What if I leave off the butter? Nevermind. That’s just silly. How will the salt and pepper stick?
I don’t like guacamole or plain tortilla chips. Can I use salsa? What am I supposed to snack on? Why, oh why, have you left me hanging in this cruel form of torture?
Eat cole slaw instead of potato salad as a side. But I don’t like either. Does that mean I don’t get a side? My lower lip has dropped and is quivering at the mere thought of having a sideless July 4th.
Fruit salad? With different fruits mixed together? And different fruits touching? Eww. I don’t want cantaloupe cooties on my fresh pineapple or watermelon.
Come on, Dave, it’s July 4th, a holiday. Cut me some slack.
The Idiot Speaketh thinks I blog about food too much, but I couldn’t let this attack on corn on the cob (and Dave’s post that clearly singles me out) go unnoticed. At least I don’t mention any desserts….Chocolate!