Dear Mr. Wonka (Gene Wilder Not Johnny Depp)

Dear Mr. Wonka,

To date I have purchased 5 Wonka Chocolate Bars of various flavors, and although they were all very tasty, I have yet to find a Willy Wonka’s Golden Ticket.

 

I’m writing you this letter to convince you that I am Golden Ticket-worthy in hope that you will send me a “special” (::wink, wink::) Wonka bar.

1. I love chocolate more than anyone in the entire world. I have the thighs to prove it.
2. I’ve never been out of the country (except for Canada, which doesn’t really count) overseas, so a trip around the world would be a wonderful and educational experience.
3. My boyfriend of over two years hasn’t asked me to marry him yet. And I have been waiting very patiently, and now I’m stressed. Know what would unstress me? A Golden Ticket.
4. I am a generous person. Of the 5 bars I bought, I gave 3 to other people and offered to share the other 2.
5. When my exfiance tried to win me back, he showed up at my work dressed as Willy Wonka and brought two Oompa Lompas with him to sing the Oompa Lompa Song. I was traumatized, and I still haven’t fully recovered. A Golden Ticket would probably fix everything.
6. Sunday was my birthday. Know what would be a nice present? A Golden Ticket.
7. I had to share my birthday with fathers all around the world this year. Know what would lessen the blow of sharing my brithday? A Golden Ticket.
8. I had cramps on my birthday and wasn’t able to fully enjoy it. Now that I’ve recovered, I’d like to celebrate with a Golden Ticket.

As you can see, I am sorely in need of a Golden Ticket. If you need more persuasive reasons, please let me know and I’d be happy to send you many more.

 Thank you for your kind consideration.

Sincerely hoping you’ll send me a ticket,

Thoughts Appear

PS: As much as I love Johnny Depp (He’s going to be my future husband. A Facebook quiz told me so.), I like the original movie better.