Lesson in Awesomeness #1: Bouncing

The wonderful thing about Tiggers is Tiggers are wonderful things. Their tops are made out of rubber, their bottoms are made out of springs.

Tigger is the Man. He’s had it right all along. Bouncing is awesome. Things that bounce are awesome. You can be awesome, too, if you have any of the things listed below.

Exhibit A: Trampoline

As a child (and even as an adult), I wanted a trampoline. You know you want one, too. My parents denied me a trampoline because we couldn’t afford trampoline insurance. I’ll believe anything. What’s that you say? Gullible begins with a “Gh.” No way. Really?

Exhibit B: Pogo Ball

Remember these? A ball of awesome surrounded by a ring of awesome to stand on. It’s like your own little bouncing planet. Once I bounced on it for 12 hours straight. True story.

Exhibit C: The Moon Bounce

Similar to the trampoline, but you can’t bounce quite as high. And you don’t have to worry about bouncing off because it is a little house of bounce. On our first date (a beer festival), Kiefer Sutherland and I tossed a bunch of little kids out on their bony behinds so we could bounce and not squash them.

Ok, not really. It was raining and we just wanted to stay dry. We had no interest in bouncing, and that’s why we tossed the kids out.

That’s not true either. It was a beer festival, so there weren’t many kids, and the moon bounce was empty.

Exhibit D: The Oversized Ball

Similar to the Pogo Ball. It’s so lazy children can bounce and have fun, too. Sometimes people sit on them at their desks at work. They claim it helps their posture, but we all know they bounce when no one’s looking.

Exhibit E: The Tiny Bouncing Ball

These come out of the tiny 25-cent machines at the grocery store. Puddin’ and I used to get them and bounce them as we walked around the mall. I bet they’re 50 cents now. Stupid inflation.

Exhibit F: Moon Shoes

Radley has a pair of these. Moon Shoes are essentially lots of rubber bands. Secret: The weight limit is about 180 pounds, which I’m under, but I’m still afraid to try them out. If they broke, it would shatter my self esteem.

And if you try to do what this little girl is doing, you’ll most likely shatter your bones. You don’t catch that much air.

Now, run along and play with something bouncy. It’ll make you awesome. And be sure to invite me over if you get a moon bounce or trampoline.

That concludes today’s lesson, grasshopper.


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

11 responses to “Lesson in Awesomeness #1: Bouncing

  • Denise

    lol. YES I have always wanted a trampoline! The big ones that go in the yard! Ryan Renolds keeps denying my pleas for one. I keep trying to convince him that Bruce needs one but really – it is all about me.

    I do have one of those giant balls at my desk but – don’t laught too hard here – i can’t reach my desk comfortably if I sit on it – i’m apparently to short!

    They just opened a place near us that is 1 giant trampoline- walls & floors. They even have exercise classes there. crazy painful workout I bet- won’t catch me there! http://www.boingjumpcenter.com/Home.html

    We also have a Pump It up here – a giant warehouse with HUGE bouncy houses and slides. They have open bounce times and the adults get to play too:)

    • thoughtsappear

      That…is…amazing, and you are the queen of awesomeness. I can’t believe they have giant trampoline places. My good friend from high school and my godson are near Brandon, Florida. I know where I’m taking him next time I go down.

  • lunaleska

    I adore trampolines!! My cousin has one, and when we go and visit, we spend hours on it, bouncing, chilling, gossiping. And it’s the best place to get a tan!! Or sunburn… lol now I have to go bounce something cause you got me all bouncy now… =]

  • no one of consequence

    Growing up the only kids I knew with trampolines were Mormon. I don’t know why exactly, it’s just the way it was. I always looked at them like an opportunity to break a limb.

  • sunshineandstarlight

    What a fun post!! I have done the moon shoes on a trampoline bit. It did not live up to my expectations….at all. I barely bounced an inch!! Oh, and Tigger is my favorite. Sweet lil guy!

  • welcome to the middle of life

    Trampolines! Yeah! We FINALLY got one when I was in my late 30s. It was awesomely awesome. The rule was, though, that if you were an adult, you couldn’t have alcohol and jump on it. A rule made after one party when someone ended up in the neighbor’s tree, and no, it wasn’t me. 🙂
    It was indeed good for tanning and sleeping in a sleeping bag.
    Eventually I got tired of it rusting in the rain and my daughter even lost her loving feeling for the tramp. So we gave it to the next wide-eyed family who had been dreaming of a trampoline forever…
    Bouncing rules! You are right.

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