Stupid David Zinczenko and Eat This, Not That. Dave, you’ve finally done it. You’ve ruined my day with your The Truth About Your Food.
Every time I read your posts, I’m filled with pride because I never eat or drink the horrible things listed: “Ha! I don’t eat any of these things.”
Now you reply, “Jinxed!”
You’ve wronged me. More importantly, you wronged my good friends, the Doritos. I love licking that powdery goodness that you call “radioactive bee pollen” off my fingers. (Although I could do without the telltale orange tint it leaves on my fingers.)
Fine! You win this round, Davey boy. I will no longer partake in the cheesy Doritos goodness. Cool Ranch Doritos are ok though, right? Shhh! Not listening, not listening.
As if dissing Doritos wasn’t enough, you also had to link to the 20 Worst Food in America and show my beloved wrap.
Damn you, TGI Fridays. Damn you and your BBQ Chicken Wrap.
1,720 calories? But…but…I usually only eat half, so that’s 860. I skip the pickles and the Ranch dressing, so surely that knocks it down to like 100 calories. Please! Leave me my delusions.
I usually get the BBQ Chicken Salad anyway.
And lots of sangria.