Pick-up lines…the best invention ever. They make me laugh. They make me laugh even harder when a guy says them with the most serious expression ever plastered on his face.
At least acknowledge my intelligence and that we both know you’re just trying to be funny and are hoping to win me over with your humor.
You are just trying to be funny, right? You didn’t actually expect me to swoon when these words escaped your lips, did you?
“Was that an earthequake or did you just rock my world?”
Queen of the F*ing Universe has a nice list of lines if you’re looking for a laugh. Or I suggest watching How I Met Your Mother to observe Barney Stinson’s strategies.
“Can I have your phone number? It’s for the bride.”
“My name is Barney Stinson, and I am on an urgent mission from the future. In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door. In order to save the planet, you need to sleep with him. Tonight.”
Last Friday, while at the bar with Blarney, I heard a line I’ve never heard before.
You have nice arms. They’re yummy.
Complimenting me on my arms? Seriously? You couldn’t find any part of me that was prettier than my arms? I’m taking that as a criticism, not a compliment.
Maybe if my arm looked like this (from Geeky Gadgets), you could compliment me on it.
And “yummy”? Are you planning on biting my arm? My arm is not a chicken wing. Don’t look at it like you’re about to dip it in ranch or blue cheese.
Requirement for future husband: He may not ever refer to my arms as “yummy.”
Random Bar Guy, I award you 1 point for Originality. And I’ll even award you 1 point for the Approach. Introducing yourself to someone is hard, so kudos to you for being brave enough to do it.
However, I deduct 100 points for…I don’t even know, but minus 100 points.