New Pick-Up Line: You Have Nice…Arms.

Pick-up lines…the best invention ever. They make me laugh. They make me laugh even harder when a guy says them with the most serious expression ever plastered on his face.

At least acknowledge my intelligence and that we both know you’re just trying to be funny and are hoping to win me over with your humor.

You are just trying to be funny, right? You didn’t actually expect me to swoon when these words escaped your lips, did you?

“Was that an earthequake or did you just rock my world?”

Queen of the F*ing Universe has a nice list of lines if you’re looking for a laugh. Or I suggest watching How I Met Your Mother to observe Barney Stinson’s strategies.

“Can I have your phone number? It’s for the bride.”

or

“My name is Barney Stinson, and I am on an urgent mission from the future. In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door. In order to save the planet, you need to sleep with him. Tonight.”

Last Friday, while at the bar with Blarney, I heard a line I’ve never heard before.

You have nice arms. They’re yummy.

Complimenting me on my arms? Seriously? You couldn’t find any part of me that was prettier than my arms? I’m taking that as a criticism, not a compliment.

Maybe if my arm looked like this (from Geeky Gadgets), you could compliment me on it.

 

And “yummy”? Are you planning on biting my arm? My arm is not a chicken wing. Don’t look at it like you’re about to dip it in ranch or blue cheese.

Requirement for future husband: He may not ever refer to my arms as “yummy.”

Random Bar Guy, I award you 1 point for Originality.  And I’ll even award you 1 point for the Approach. Introducing yourself to someone is hard, so kudos to you for being brave enough to do it.

However, I deduct 100 points for…I don’t even know, but minus 100 points.

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

19 responses to “New Pick-Up Line: You Have Nice…Arms.

  • pinklove9

    Aw, thanks for the little shout out 😀 Pick-up lines are some of my favorite things that make me laugh. I suck at telling jokes, so I have to stick with them 😀

    But HIMYM is amazingly hilarious. I want to know Barney Stinson in real life. 🙂

    And yeah, definitely not the best pick-up line ever said.

  • blogmella

    I have a friend who used to get naked on stage (for a few seconds), every month, in a local comedy show.

    Back when I didn’t know him (but I wanted to write for the show) we met up at a party.

    “Hi, I’m Mark” he said.

    “I know” I replied, “I’m a HUGE fan of your penis.”

    He invited me to write for the show and I did so for about 3 years, until I moved up North. Hahaha! I don’t think anyone had ever before said the word “huge” in the same sentence as “your penis” to him…

    • thoughtsappear

      Maybe you should blog about pick-up lines for women. That one seemed to work!

      That same night this guy who kept hitting on Blarney and I kept saying he had a small penis. We weren’t sure what to say about that.

  • Denise

    Love HIMYM- I heard a quote on there this week I will be writing about. Who the hell calls an arm yummy? that’s just odd. No straight guy could ever possibly use this line. Out of the 2million body parts we have that is the best thing he could think of to nibble on????

    I was in the grocery store once and a guy came up to me and said “I don’t mean to be creepy or anything but you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” Obviously, this guy has either been living in a secluded hut in the middle of the dessert all his life. But, I agree- you get points just for follow through.

    • thoughtsappear

      I can’t wait to read your HIMYM post!

      After the arm thing failed, he did go on to tell me I have nice hair…hmm…I think you’re on to something with that “straight guy” thing.

      Wow, the grocery store…interesting location to pick women up! I might be more open to a guy who tries a line at a grocery store than a bar.

  • unabridgedgirl

    Yummy arms! LMAO

  • redriverpak

    Barney is a God! Oh…if he had been around to supply us with lines back in the 80’s…….. The guy liking your arms is a new one…..never thought of that angle when I was younger….hmmmm…….. Now SUIT UP!!

  • izziedarling

    Hahahaha. I’ll take an arm compliment any day – still have them while many commrades have floppy, hanging down bat wings. But “yummy” not so much. Sounds like a wings vampire.

  • Denise

    I was watching Rules of Engagement last night and thought of you. One of the guys used this line – “your hair looks nice. It’s shiny like fresh zambonied ice.”

  • Welcome to the Gun Show | Thoughts Appear

    […] all began years ago when a guy tried to pick me up by complimenting my arms. […]

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