Don’t You Need a License to Drive?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but here in the United States, don’t you need a license to drive?

I seem to remember taking a Driver’s Education class, doing some reading, spending numerous hours in the car with an instructor as well as my parents, and passing a test before being presented with a license. 

Oh yeah, and I also have common sense.

Within the span of one minute (I kid you not, it may have even been less), 3 different cars at 3 different intersections obviously were missing one of the things I listed above.

To these three cars I award the BAD DRIVER ON BOARD sign.


(The first time I saw that sign I read the title too fast, and I thought it said, “Lend Me Your Rear.” Pure genius, wish I had thought of it.)

Car #1: Decided he/she needed to turn left from the far right lane. So after cutting across, he/she proceeded to stop in the straight lane to turn left, hence blocking me and numerous other cars.

Car #2: Did something equally as stupid. I can’t remember now. I just remember that there were 3 moronic drivers.

Car #3: Did the exact same thing as Car #1! What the…!

Kiefer Sutherland and I watched as the Lexus (Car #3) came to a halt in the straight lane (my lane!) so he/she could turn left. The conversation went something like this:

Me: He isn’t….

Kiefer: Oh my god…

Me: Seriously? Again? Didn’t this just happen 20 seconds ago?

Kiefer: Please honk your horn. Please honk your horn. Please honk your horn. You’d better honk for your horn. Honk your horn!

I am not a horn honker. If I honk my horn, it’s usually because a driver is doing something life-threatening, not merely annoying. And usually not even then because I’m too busy avoiding the life threatening situation to remember my horn. And then I don’t want to be that delayed horn honker that no one knows what they’re honking about.

However, I caved to Kiefer’s Sutherland’s peer pressure and honked. Plus it was hot…and humid…and I’d had enough of stupid drivers. Kiefer was about to reach across me to punch the horn anyways.


My horn is pathetic sounding. Sounds like a bicycle horn. Not intimidating at all.

But the Lexus moved. Into the intersection in front of the left turn lane.

Why, people, why? You know what I do when I realize I need to make a turn that I’m about to miss?

I don’t stop in the straight lane, that’s for sure. I drive a few yards more and take the next turn. I safely turn around without impeding traffic.

What’s that? You’re not from around here? Guess what? That’s not an excuse to drive like an imbecile. I promise the road will still be at that exact same spot when you turn around. It’s not like a moving stairwell in Hogwarts.

Moral of the Weekend: I should be the only person allowed to drive.

Or at the very least, I should have my very own lane…better yet, my own roads.


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

8 responses to “Don’t You Need a License to Drive?

  • no one of consequence

    that reminds me of that old adage:

    “if I was the last person on earth….some idiot would turn left in front of me”

    Not to be confused with the blogging idiot down in Texas

  • redriverpak

    No confusion here….although I am an Idiot….I get stuck behind the same slack-jawed, knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing Morons that you seem to encounter out on your roads. Down here, if you use your horn on the idiots, you best be sitting behind bullet-proof glass when you go “MEEP”…because gunfire will surely ensue within seconds….

  • unequivocalkate

    Reminds of me of driving in Yuma, Arizona where most people either don’t have a legitimate driver’s license or are 90-years old and should have surrendered their driver’s license years ago. I’ve never more desperately wanted my own damn road than I did when I was attempting to drive in Yuma.

    It all comes back to common sense. Common sense says that one shouldn’t drive without a legitimate license and understanding of the law. Common sense says that if your hands shake and you can’t see the road you shouldn’t be on it. Unfortunately, there’s a dearth of common sense that extends well beyond the boarders of Yuma, Arizona.

  • blogmella

    I’ve been in two car crashes in the States. Brits drive like crap on the WRONG side of the road.

    • thoughtsappear

      I’ve only been in one accident, and luckily, it wasn’t bad. Did you make out unscathed?

      I remember a friend driving on the wrong side of the road once when I was in high school…ah, to be young and invincible.

  • The Cheeky Bride

    This freakin cracked me up. I’m the same way about the horn – half the time I forget to honk it because I’m busy swerving to avoid disaster, but then I’ll think the whole way home how DAMNIT I wished I had honked that horn! Also love the moving stairwell. Funny stuff, girl!

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