Three-Year-Old Knocks Out Kiefer Sutherland

Little Girl: Where are your kids?

Me: I don’t have any.

Little Girl: But where are your kids?

Me:I don’t have any. Do you mean Boo and Radley? They’re not here today.

Little Girl: So where’s your daughter?

Me: I don’t have a daughter.

Little Girl: ::Look of shock:: or ::Blank Stare:: (I’m still not sure how to interpret her expression.)

However, using  the knowledge from my Psychology and Sociology classes and my babysitting skills from back in the day, I’ve come up with some interpretations of the little girl’s line of questioning.

1. Little Girl was so amazed with my patience, my fun-ness, my caring nature (and glittery pink nail polish) that she thought, “Surely this wonderful woman has wonderful children for me to play with. Now where are they? Because how she could not have children? She would obviously be such a wonderful mother.”

2. Little Girl was so taken with me that she thought, “I need to know where the other children are, so I can keep them away from her, so I can have her all to myself. There aren’t any other children. Wonderful!”

3. Little Girl became an instant protective-best-friend-on-the-offensive and thought, “Where the hell is Kiefer Sutherland? This chick is wonderful! I’m going to knock some sense into that boy. Hold my Ring Pops and bring me my size 2 butt-kicking shoes.”

3a. Another variation of the best friend Little Girl thought: “I’m going to find Kiefer Sutherland and give him my Ring Pop to give to this wonderful woman until he can buy a real ring.”

 4. Little Girl thought “What? No kids? You mean I’m stuck with her all night. Wonderful.” Never too young for sarcasm.

5. Little Girl caught a glimpse of my gray hairs and thought, “I must have heard her wrong. No kids? Isn’t she getting close to menopause?”

6. Little Girl cannot fathom a world where people do not have children.

Personally, I’d like to think it was #1. I’d settle for #2. Number 3 would be funny to watch. Hopefully it wasn’t #4. I’m not sure that 3-year-olds know what “menopause” is, so I’m fairly safe in ruling out #5. Most likely, it was #6.

Let me know if I missed any possible interpretations.


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

3 responses to “Three-Year-Old Knocks Out Kiefer Sutherland

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